In my last blog I wrote about
strategies for defeating to the Imposter Syndrome. The response was such that I
started thinking out loud about the other drivers that lead otherwise incredibly
successful and talented individuals to think they were somehow “less than.” After
some thought, along with an insightful conversation with one of my students, it
occurred to both of us the harm COMPARING can do. I will explain further
but suffice to say that I believe the only thing you should compare
yourself to is your own potential!
Now as a general concept, I
have no problem with making comparisons. It is how we evaluate good, better,
and best options. For example, when comparing a product or service we will evaluate
it based on X options or features at Y price point. So far so good in the compare
and contrast world! And yes, the car buying process for me is a full-day
marathon and I have significant sympathy for the hapless sales associate who
made the innocent mistake of asking “how can I help you today?”
The problem, however, is when
we make ourselves the subject of the comparison because rarely
will it involve making comparisons about better or best. Unfortunately, when
professionals are comparing their work, talents, skills, etc. with others, it at
best results in a zero-sum game and at worst, unfair and inaccurate conclusions
about our worth and work. You see when we make such comparisons, it does not affirm
us, it diminishes us. Our comparisons become value judgements of not
better or best but right versus wrong, better or worse, success or failure
where we inevitably come out on the short end. Once done, we put ourselves
right back on the hamster wheel of self-doubt and self-criticism, thus;
continually feeding into the Imposter Syndrome time and time again.
U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt
once gave his now famous “Man in the Arena” speech where he stated “it is not
the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbles or where
the doer of good deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who
is actually in the arena.” Upon reflecting on his words, author and speaker
Brene Brown shares “nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s
a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people
in the stands.” Now that is a lot of wisdom from two individuals born over a
century apart!
For those who know me, you
know full well that I constantly stress the personal growth of myself and
others. When it comes to our worthiness, however, the ONLY thing we should be
comparing ourselves to is our potential! There will always be someone
stronger, smarter, better looking (shocking right?!?), etc. than me but that in
no way diminishes my talents and abilities. It does not make me less than.
That fact does not make you less than either. I want that fact to land fairly
hard on you.
It is my belief that each one
of us is walking around on the planet for a specific reason. That Is not
arrogance, it is in fact quite terrifying that I was designed (with custom
features!) that allow me to do something that makes a difference, at a time that
makes a difference, with people that will make a difference. Therefore, in
order to do that as effectively as possible, we should not endeavor to live our
lives and do our jobs like someone else, rather we should do these
things in the best way we possibly can! In the way that only you can do!
In order to do that however, we should be challenging ourselves to every day get
a little bit better, a little bit more informed, a little bit more aware, and
so forth and so on, which will inevitably jump us into our (a.k.a. YOUR) boundless
potential! Once that happens, I promise you will be quite the opposite of “less
than”. In fact, you will be more than good enough! You will be exactly what
we need, at the time it matters the most, with the people who need it the most.
I want that to land solidly on you as well!
How and where you grow it is entirely
up to you and your life mission, but I encourage you to bucket your efforts into
three main categories:
- What do you want to KNOW (that you do not know . . . yet)?
- What do you want to be able to DO (that you are temporarily unable to do . . .yet)?
- What do you want to BECOME (that you are presently not . . . yet)?
One great resource that I am
credentialed to coach, lead trainings, and conduct masterminds on is John
Maxwell’s, The15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. This work outlines powerful
growth principles that get us moving in the right direction smack into our
potential.
For a wonderful adaptation of President
Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena speech, see this promotional video from
Leadercast 2015 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zagQsQ_ySFk
As always if I can help you and
the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite
you to contact me.
Yours in leadership,
Bill Faulkner
Independent Coach, Speaker,
and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team TM\
Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and
Gallup Strengths Coach
Email
= bill@outloudinc.com
Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com
For more information on the
John Maxwell Team, please visit
http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/
Feel free to “LIKE” our FB
Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc
