Thinking Out Loud!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

The Importance of Writing Your Own Story.

Human Development theorist, Dr. Baxter-Magolda, created an elegant concept of “Self-Authorship.” Essentially, the theory describes how as individuals we start out in life by following the “scripts” that others (e.g. parents, siblings, communities, etc.) have laid out for us. At some point, usually in late adolescence, we reach what she calls a “cross roads” where we will decide if we will keep following the scripts or expectations of others or start to become the author of our own lives. Those who successfully navigate that challenging time become “authors” of our own life. We begin to take a path we choose versus one chosen for us. We decide to find our true selves and pursue what matters most for us!

Now on the surface, this sounds a bit narcissistic but it really has major implications for how we lead ourselves and others. Obviously in order to lead others we have to lead ourselves first but we cannot do that until we know ourselves and what works for us! We get to choose to develop a leadership style and approach that aligns with our own talents, gifts, and abilities. We have to reach a state of Self-Authorship!

This point was no better said than by a speaker I heard the night before I graduated from college. We were participating in a great baccalaureate service and the guest speaker said something that has stuck with me ever since. He said:

“Release your SONG the Spirit says to me, you can’t be you until your SONG is set free!”

What this meant to me is that we have to find that one purpose that we alone were created for. We will never be truly free until we do so! So the big questions are these:

Are your writing your own life and leadership story or is someone or something still doing that for you?
Are you truly pursuing your life’s passion?
Are you helping others author their own life?

As always, if I can help you write your own story by Getting Better, Being Ready and LEADING OUT LOUD, I would love to hear from you. Also, as a bonus, if you go to my Out Loud Strategies website (www.outloudinc.com) and enter your contact information, I will send you a FREE guide to establishing a mentoring initiative program in your organization!

Yours in Leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Co-Founder – Out Loud Strategies

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

bill@outloudinc.com

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Who's INVESTING in YOU?

Who’s INVESTING in You?

The people I consider leaders and givers are constantly busy. They are continuously giving their time, treasure, energy, and influence to help make their businesses, organizations, communities and families better. They invest so much of themselves in others that they forget they need to have someone investing in them! That investment is what Dr. Tim Elmore from Growing Leaders calls “emotional fuel”. So my question this week is who is filling your tank? Who is investing in you?

The ongoing theme of this Thinking Out Loud! blog is its focus on leadership and personal effectiveness. I have become convinced that any type of growth plan has to include some sort of mentoring component. Mentors are critical at any stage of our lives in order to fuel our success in many areas of our lives – financial, vocational, relational, spiritual, etc. Here is what mentors do for us:

Roles of Mentors

Identify and capitalize on our Strengths
Inspire and develop Character
See and evaluate our potential Blind Spots
Clarify areas of Focus in our lives
Close gap between Potential and Performance or Knowing vs Doing

There are many misconceptions about what mentoring is and is not. For me, mentoring is an intentional, goal orientated, and developmental relationship where one individual agrees to learn from and be held accountable by another. This is more than just pleasant conversation. It is a powerful relationship that is created on purpose for a purpose!

I am sure many of us have had great mentoring relationships in the past. That teacher that believed in you, a coach that inspired you, the college professor that opened horizons, or maybe that first boss who saw your potential. What about now? If no one is pouring into your life currently, I recommend the following:

Identify areas of your life where you need to grow (I know some people who have many mentors for the different parts of their life listed above!)
Identify those individuals who have enough expertise or experience who can take you to the next level.
Broker a relationship where you can meet or interact in some format on a consistent basis.
Mutually Agree when the relationship has run its course (keep in mind some mentoring relationships will be aligned with different seasons in your life and that’s OK!)

Keep in mind that it is possible to be mentored by someone you do not even know. In my case, I do not personally know John Maxwell but I joined his team and have committed to studying his books and videos on a consistent basis. He acts as a “virtual mentor” for me.

As always, if I can help you Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I would love to hear from you. Also, as a bonus, if you go to my Out Loud Strategies website (www.outloudinc.com) and enter your contact information, I will send you a FREE guide to establishing a mentoring initiative program in your organization!

Yours in Leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Co-Founder – Out Loud Strategies

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email me at bill@outloudinc.com

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Do Yourself a Solid!

A phrase you will hear in popular entertainment these days is “Do me a solid and . . .” Essentially the phrase means to do someone a solid favor and . . ., you get meaning! So like I usually do, I started thinking out loud about a “solid” we should do for ourselves. Where I landed, as someone whose life’s mission is to help others be the best version of themselves, is to help you become solid with yourself!

Being solid with yourself in terms of your personal effectiveness, requires you do 4 distinct things.

1. Know Yourself –

In his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John Maxwell states that in order to GROW yourself, you must KNOW yourself. This means taking stock of your strengths, liabilities, passions, dreams, and goals. This takes courage but to know yourself is the first step in reaching your full potential! One good place to start is to ask yourself these three questions someone asked John early in his career.

What do you SING About – what gives you joy?
What do you CRY About – what causes or issues do you have compassion for or what “wrongs” do you want to make right?
What do you DREAM About – what is your ideal future?

2. Believe in Yourself –

No one can achieve anything without a fundamental belief that you can! Even in the face of adversity and disappointment, you must believe that you can and will do better next time. As Dr. Henry Cloud states, “You are not your last bad result.” Remember, you cannot become what you believe you aren’t! I have often said, anytime you doubt yourself, you commit a crime against yourself because when you do so, you just robbed yourself of your potential, passion, and performance.

3. Challenge Yourself –

The only way we grow and get better at anything is to challenge our current abilities and skills. John Maxwell states that “the difference between where you are and where you want to be is created by the changes we are willing to make in our lives.” Have you plateaued? Are getting the results that you want? If the answer is “yes” to the first question and “no” to the second (or you’re just not sure), then get out of your comfort zone and try something new! Some day I will share an experience when I did just that during what was supposed to be a restful vacation!

4. Extend Yourself –

Finally, you need to extend yourself. When you become solid with yourself, you will want to help others do the same. I once read that you never have anything until you give it away! If you are a gifted leader, then extend your leadership and influence to a younger team member. Do you have a unique skill set? Then mentor someone and help them get better. When we extend ourselves in service to just one person, we create a ripple effect that will benefit countless others!

As always, if I can help you Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I would love to hear from you. I actually provided an email this time – 17 posts later!

Yours in Leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Co-Founder – Out Loud Strategies

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

bill@outloudinc.com