As
Leaders we strive to do well in spite of our flaws and often because of them! I
think one of the many things that hold us back from attempting great things is
that we do not believe we are worthy to do so! I have been thinking out loud
why so many great leaders do not step up to serve their schools, organizations,
and communities. Of course, I have a
few ideas.
Social
Media – I have no issues with social media. In fact I wish it was around when I
was completing my education(s). Having access to such platforms then would have
made it much easier to connect with and keep up with classmates and colleagues.
The problem is its anonymity. When anyone for no other reason than their desire
to pull others down can weaponize it for that very purpose. All of our
shortcomings as well as successes are now laid bare for all the world to see.
Only the most self-deluded who believe such things do not matter or believe
they will “get a pass” are willing to invite the exposure.
Selective
Attention Disorder – our society certainly has evolved to an epidemic of selective
attention disorder. Politicians and others will gladly highlight the negative
behaviors and decisions of others and opponents while conveniently failing to
mention their own or that of their allies. In other words, when considering who
we want to follow as leaders, we often highlight agreeable behaviors yet
downplay character flaws. It does not matter that an individual has a lifetime
of accomplishment for others, some youthful indiscretion or ill-advised comment
can sink any ambitions to want to serve the public good. Wouldn’t it be nice if
we could be judged on our total body of work?
The
Perfection Pedestal – we often expect our leaders, especially those in high
profile organizational or political roles to be perfect. Now I am no way
contradicting my leadership philosophy that leaders should have a strong moral
and ethical core by any means, but NO ONE is perfect. I believe the best thing
that a high profile leader can do is to readily admit that but at the same time
commit to the be the best “work in progress” they can be.
In
listening to David Brooks’ book, The Road
to Character, he highlights many of the influential leaders and thinkers of
(mostly) the 20th century. He focuses on those individuals who were
notable leaders in monumental conflicts such as World War II and the very early leaders of important social movements. Authors and influencers of their time that were tireless
advocates for social change are also highlighted. Brooks makes a concerted
effort to highlight their laudable accomplishments and impact but pulls no
punches of their moral failings. Pride, avarice, infidelity, nepotism, etc. are
all brought out in the open in challenging detail. Seriously, these were some
messed up people! But, they still did amazing things.
I
think the point that Brooks is attempting to make is the title of this week’s
blog. The best leaders, in spite of their flaws, can and do accomplish great
things. Further, in some cases it is because
of their flaws that they attempt to do so as a kind of atonement. To make
things better for others because they are well aware of a time when their focus
was entirely upon themselves.
This
is the encouraging news for the rest of us. Now I am going to make an
assumption that most people who read this are moderately solid people, morally
speaking. In the great line from the movie, Lost
Horizon, the citizens of this blog are “moderately honest and moderately
happy”! In other words, your life on most days is not a dumpster fire!
With
that being understood, I would like to offer the following encouragements
(because being a serial encourager is kind of my thing!).
Moral Failings Do NOT Define You, Your
RESPONSES to them DO! –
We all
make mistakes. We all have character flaws. We all have blind spots in our awareness
of how we treat others. Such negatives, however, should not impede our
potential for doing really great things. In fact, some of the most compelling
stories I have ever heard are ones of redemption and courage to overcome a past
to create a better future for both the individual and others. Even on a less
dramatic scale, such responses still matter. Apologizing for tense interactions
and admitting mistakes goes a long with team members and those closest to you
in repairing trust.
Focus on Your WORTHINESS (vs Deservedness)
–
In my
humble opinion, there are few things in this world that we really deserve (except in my case a stern talking
to sometimes!). As my father often told me, the world don’t owe you a
living thus there is not much we are entitled to. I do believe, however, that
we are worthy of many things. Worthy
of love and kindness. Worthy of the opportunity to prove your worth. Worthy of forgiveness,
Worthy of the benefit of the doubt. Worthy to lead by serving and serve by leading
if we really want to! The problem, however, is that sometimes when we resolve
to do something really good, we allow either self or other imposed doubts to stop
us. That inner voice that speaker and master coach, Paul Martinelli calls “Mr.
Ugly”! For instance, we say to ourselves, you
know I really would like to help out in my local community but then Mr. Ugly
shows up uninvited and challenges you. “Who do you think you are?!?” When that
happens, just go ahead and invite Mr. Ugly to work for the competition and you remind
yourself that you are not perfect but you are worthy!
Quit Talking Yourself Out of Opportunities
–
The
preceding leads me to my next point of not talking yourself out of
opportunities because you feel you are not worthy of them. Trust me, if you
don’t feel you are worthy of seeking a new role or leadership opportunity, I
guarantee someone else does! As I always share with my clients, it is someone
else’s job to tell you “no”. It is your job to say “yes” to yourself! We live
in an imperfect world but the ONLY way we are going to make our schools, hospitals,
businesses, and communities better is when we as flawed people step up . . . .
bad hair days and all!
As always if I can help you and
the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite
you to contact me.
Yours in leadership,
Bill Faulkner
Independent Coach, Speaker,
and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team TM
Email
= bill@outloudinc.com
For more information on the
John Maxwell Team, please visit
