A tribute to someone you never knew.

I am taking a slight detour this week to honor a good friend and colleague who passed away recently. You probably never knew her, but you will have wished you had. Our relationship and time together got me thinking out loud about a lot of things that I think hold relevance to our lives and leadership. As per her final wishes she wanted no memorial or services. That was so like her. But as she would expect from me, I can’t leave it like that. Once more, again, I am going to “disobey” her wishes just a little!

Dr. Gay Holliday worked her entire career in Higher Education administration. At first glance you would dismiss this woman of diminutive stature (I don’t think she was even 5’5” tall and weighed maybe around 100 lbs.) but you did so to your absolute peril. We shared a wall between our offices for almost 8 years and I observed many a cocky student walk in her office to walk out humbled and remorseful. As she would sometimes tell people, “You don’t want to mess with me!” No, no you didn’t.

She never married or had any children, but she left a legacy that will outlast most of us. She raised a few thousand undergraduates and hundreds of graduate students. She taught as many life lessons as she did formal classroom ones. Here are the major ones.

Never Waste People

I started working with Gay when I joined Nova Southeastern University as an Assistant Dean. During our tenure working together, we did not always agree. We didn’t have to. We did not believe the same things or hold the same world views. We didn’t have to. We did not even approach our work the same way. We didn’t have to. The ONLY thing we had to do was at the end of the day value and respect each other. And we did. In this day and age of “us/them” politics Gay’s example teaches us that you never waste a relationship. We always worked things out and she NEVER gave up on me. How many of us are still willing to do the same these days?

Gay believed IN, WITH, and FOR people. Gay valued her friends and colleagues. We were her family and she treated us like that. She never wasted people, instead she did the all to rare thing and invested in people.

Never lead in a way other than that of Servant Leadership

Gay was the consummate Servant Leader albeit more of the tough love variety! Gees, should could be tough on people. It’s not that she was unreasonable. It was more of a case that she had high expectations of her students and colleagues and she knew when you were not putting forth your best effort.

At the same time, she would do any and everything to help someone to succeed. I often worked late but Gay would work even later in order to meet with a student or staff member on their schedule, not hers. She would challenge, mentor, encourage, hug, and scold (often all at the same time!) so that you would be the best version of yourself. She was one of those people you would actually thank for having a “frank and open” conversation with you because you know it came from a place of love and not anger or condemnation.  

Never Surrender

I left NSU in January of 2016 to seek new horizons. Gay retired that May but soon after was diagnosed with lung cancer. She was a long-time smoker and, though I should not have, I would get a kick hearing her announce she was headed to an “off campus meeting” when what she was really doing was walk to a spot just outside the campus boundary to smoke a cigarette. She knew we were all worried about her smoking, so she just made sure we did not see it.

Unfortunately, it finally caught up to her. We would still meet for lunch every 3 months or so and as I watched her get frailer and weaker, we would tell stories about past and current students. I would tell funny stories on me about my job-search or consulting practice exploits to keep her spirits up. There was no pretension with Gay and she knew how challenging some of these experiences were for me, but she laughed and encouraged me anyway.

The last time we had lunch she was looking better and told me the harsh treatments had stopped the spread of cancer and stabilized her condition. She and cancer were in a stand-off, but she could literally and metaphorically live with that. Like I said, she was small in stature but huge in heart and grit fighting cancer with a will and determination that would put a Navy SEAL to shame.

Shortly after our last lunch, however, things started to turn for the worst. She gave it all she had until she could not give anymore. Here’s the thing, though, she never complained to me or anyone, never got depressed and never willingly surrendered. What an example to all of us! What dignity and strength!

But ALWAYS Trust the Process

If you heard it once you heard Gay teach her favorite lesson hundreds of times. Trust the Process! Gay knew that life was messy and often did not turn out the way we wished. She did know, however, is that things always worked out in the end.

Her point in saying this to us is that if you work hard, put forth your best intention, and remain patient, it will all work out the way it is supposed to. She knew instant success was counterfeit success. The truly valuable things in life were those that were hard earned and rare to come by. Personal qualities like wisdom, compassion, and vision of better ways of leading and working were her stock in trade. Such things have to be learned through a process of trial and error and reflection. Even when situations and people got tense, Gay would reassure us all with her “trust the process” refrain.

Again, you probably did not know Dr. Holliday, but she taught many of us valuable lessons and now she just taught you! This is my tribute to you Dr. Gay Holliday. I know it is ticking you off as I write this, but you know me . . . you also know I have an irreverent sense of humor and I mean no offense to the Almighty but to borrow from that classic line in the movie City Slickers I offer this short eulogy – Dear Lord, we give you Gay, try not to mess with her!

Thank you for all the life lessons. You will be missed but what you did in life will echo in eternity. Your impact in lives of others will last for a long time to come because of the lessons you taught the next generation of leaders.

Yours sincerely,

Bill Faulkner

Seriously, just lead from where you are!

In my work I hear all the excuses for not leading with incredible intention. I am not old enough. I am not skilled enough. I do not hold a big title. My response, when it comes to making an impact, is that none of that matters!

Obviously, I love working with all kinds of leaders at various stages in their careers. But I do have a special affinity for younger leaders or what I call Emerging Influencers!  This certainly includes Millennials, but we are now starting to see GNext appear. The problem, however, is that younger leaders believe that due to youth, inexperience, or being from a historically underrepresented segment that they believe they are not yet an influential leader. This got me thinking out loud that A) my experience has proven time and again that is not true and B) that it is incredibly important that ALL of us need to lead from where we ARE!

Everyday we read or see stories about influencers that hold no or little authority take the social/media world by storm. They capture our hearts and attention due to their bravery and passion. Malala Yousafzai is the young Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban (that was closing schools for girls in that region) for publicly advocating for the right of girls to receive an education. Now she speaks all over the world at the highest levels of influence to advocate for her cause. You can read her story in the international best seller, I Am Malala. Jess Ekstrom created the Headbands for Hope brand that now raises hundreds of thousands of dollars for juvenile cancer research. When she started, she had no corporate backing, just friends helping her make attractive headbands from out of her home to provide to young girls who lost their hair due to the effects of treatments. Here near where I live in Florida, a young man named Denis Estimon who immigrated from Haiti as a young child started an organic movement called We Dine Together that makes sure no child sits alone at lunch in the often too harsh social realities young people experience at school.

Again, none of these Emerging Influencers held a corporate title or were some Reality TV darling (they probably couldn’t even vote when they started!). What they did have, however, is influence but not in the way we normally think about it. Those who research such things, understand that there are several different kinds of influence but I highlight three types below:

Positional Influence – this is simply influence we gather because of what a role we occupy. Holding a title in an organization in no way guarantees leadership effectiveness or influence but it does allow us to shape our environment because we have been given the authority to do so.

Technical Influence – is based upon what we can do. This is influence we gain due to the simple fact that we have learned to do something especially well. For example, being an excellent software coder or program project manager affords us a certain degree of influence or notoriety because others seek our expertise and defer to our judgement.

Referent Influence – is based upon who we ARE! As in the examples above, these Servant Leaders have influence due to the quality of their character and the pureness of their motives. This is where you can ALWAYS lead! This is why people that on the surface appear to have no formal authority in reality influence hundreds inside an organization or even thousands more outside of one!

So, no more excuses. Lead where you are to everyone around you. This is called 360⁰ Servant Leadership and it . . . is . . . mighty! As a 360⁰ Servant Leader you lead “up” by meeting the needs of those in authority above you such as a boss or their boss. You lead “across” by being a resource and encourager to colleagues and co-workers. You also lead “down” to clients, students, patients, and anyone else in your charge by offering the best service, expertise, and/or care that you can. 

The 10 Day Challenge –

I would like you to do something for me. In the next ten work days (see, I am even giving you the weekend off!), I want to you to do something outside of the job or role description that will intentionally ADD VALUE to those in your 360⁰ orbit. Write a note or make a notation in your phone where you:

List the NAME of the person you are going to add extra value to.

Summarize what you are going to do.

Give yourself a date for completion.

Is this an incredibly cheesy challenge? Yes, yes it is! But just may be one of most powerful things you do. I would love you to email me at the address below and let me know how this went for you! If I was Oprah, I would give you a Porsche for doing so but since I am not I will highlight your story in a future blog if you would like.

If you follow my blog, you know that I believe everyone should have a Leadership Platform. That one thing that you lead on, lead for, or lead toward. You do not have to have it all figured out, just lead from where you are. I promise you, it will be more than good enough!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to visit my website below and see if any of the training or coaching experiences I offer can provide an impact.

If you want to know more about finding your leadership platform, I would direct you to Leading Out Loud: Strategies for Raising Your Leadership Voice! available on Amazon.com. Also, I a happy to announce that I am now offering a two-part Servant Leadership Training. The first part is a fun and interactive introduction into what Servant Leadership is and the impact it can have and the second part provides an Action Plan to create and activate a Servant Leadership culture curriculum within your organization. Please feel free to contact me for a no obligation inquiry.

Yours in Leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Principal Consultant – Out Loud Strategies

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

As Leaders there are many burdens you should not carry except for one!

An ambitious young lady once asked a lonely elder, "What is life's heaviest burden?" The elder responded by saying, "To have nothing to carry."  This haunting quote by author Rick McDaniel got me thinking out loud that as leaders we carry more baggage than we probably should in bearing the burdens of others. The problem is that when we do so we may neglect carrying the ONE burden that we should ALWAYS carry.

Now if you have been reading my past 5 or so blogs, you may be thinking that “isn’t carrying the weight for others a hallmark of a selfless Servant Leader?” Let me respond by sharing the answer to that is a definite . . . maybe!

You see I believe there are many unhealthy burdens that we keep carrying around. Burdens of regret over lost opportunities, missed relationships, and poor actions or mistakes on our part that will weigh us down if we keep carrying them. We also weigh ourselves down by holding onto grudges, unfair treatment, toxic people and situations, as well as envy of the success of others. Such burdens may have served you then, but they do not now. Best to just let them go because I promise you those people, situations, and things let you go a long time ago.  

The one burden that I believe that leaders should carry, however, is that one great work that you are needed to do because no one else but you can do it! Now I don’t expect anyone to carry the burdens of the world on their shoulders alone. All the injustice, discrimination, and corruption around us will not be rectified by one person, but it will be by one person at a time! That’s the point I am trying to make here. You and I cannot change everything, but we can impact something. And that is the ONE burden you should always carry!

Now I know in this day and age of celebrity supported hash-tag and wristband movements, it seems that anything we normal people could do would not make much of a difference. Granted, such big movements start important national conversations but don’t ever think doing one great work is only limited to those “go big or go home” campaigns. What I am encouraging you to do is to go big at home!

I hope at this point you are saying to yourself, “OK, that does not seem too unreasonable, but I am not sure what that ONE great work is.” I would respond by sharing three questions that leadership expert and author John Maxwell often teaches around this topic of becoming leaders of significance. In fact, I encourage you to write down some answers to the following questions and see if a pattern emerges.

What do you cry about? Of all the things that trouble you in your life, work, or community, what impacts you the most?

What do you sing about? What brings you joy and happiness in terms of when good things happen to others?

What do you dream about? If you could have your part of the world the way you wanted it, what would it look like, sound like, or feel like?

How did that go? I bet something started to take shape in your heart and mind. To help you refine your one great work, I want to share an abbreviated process on finding your leadership platform from my book, Leading Out Loud.

VISUALIZE –This is the first step in raising your leadership voice. Effective leadership begins with “what ifs” as opposed to just “what is”. Think about the following:

• What would the impact of your efforts be like?
• What difference will it make in the life of others?

CRYSTALIZE – How can you communicate your leadership platform more clearly?

• What IS the MAIN idea?
• Why is it important or matter?

STRATEGIZE – Now that you have a firm vision for what you want to do, think strategically about how you want to go about sharing and doing it.

• Who can help you?
• What resources do you have now and what will you need?

VOCALIZE – Once your efforts start to gain traction it is critical to capitalize on that momentum.

• What system or process can help you keep your leadership platform front and center with those that can help or impact?

REALIZE – The next stage of the process is to realize your progress. Again, do not waste your energy and effort on people who are not supportive. Think of ways to create “buy-in” from important stakeholders.

• List three important individuals or groups that you can enroll to help you.
• List two specific ideas that you can provide them to help cascade your message or cause.
• Commit to one way you will sustain the momentum of your leadership platform.

I hope the above was both helpful and encouraging. I am not asking you to change the world, just challenging you to impact your part of it! The most impactful Servant Leaders I know are ones that concentrate their efforts on what they can influence. Their home, their business, their part of the organization, and/or their local community. If you are burdened to go bigger, then good for you but it all starts at home. 

The only thing I insist upon is if you lead, that you lead ON, FOR, or TOWARD something, therefore your one great burden may be:

• To raise great kids.
• Teach valuable lessons.
• Run a business that adds value to others.
• Restore a patient back to their family.
• Help others in need.
• Give young people valid reasons to feel good about themselves.

The list is endless, but you only have to pick ONE!

The world may never know your name, but it will experience your positive impact! I believe we were designed to do one great thing in fair trade for the air we breath and the happiness we get to experience. It’s a small burden to carry for the privilege of leading others.

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I would invite you to email me or to visit my website below and see if any of the training or coaching experiences I offer can provide an impact. If you want to know more about finding your leadership platform, I would direct you to Leading Out Loud: Strategies for Raising Your Leadership Voice! available on Amazon.com. 

Yours in Leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Principal Consultant – Out Loud Strategies

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

Trust me, Millennials will not put up with horrible boss shenanigans!

The Millennial cohort (those born after 1985) makes up around 40% of the American workforce. That puts them in the majority compared to Gen X and the Boomers. Whereas each generation has their unique characteristics, I believe one that is unique to Millennials is that they have no patience or tolerance with poor leadership. This got me thinking out loud that I might want to warn the multi-generational workplace of that fact!

I have been fortunate enough to have spent my entire career working with, mentoring, teaching, and leading Millennials so I am not one of those haters who believe this is an entitled generation with no motivation or work ethic but there is some work to do. According to Gallup, 55% of Millennials are not engaged in their work (about 10% less than the national average when accounting for all generations in the workplace) yet 60% are currently open to new opportunities which is well above combined cohort average. Now you may think, “So what?” The “what” is that such job-hoping costs the U.S. economy hundreds of millions of dollars each year. Not convinced? Just consider the fact that it costs on average $10,000 to on-board a grocery store clerk. If you have never done so, you may want to ask your HR department how much it costs your organization to advertise for, interview, on-board, and train a new team member.

There is one primary thing we can do, however, to reverse and improve such trends. You guessed it, be a better leader. Better yet, be an incredible Servant Leader! A few years ago, I had the pleasure to attend a symposium on Millennials in the Workplace at the Gallup corporate campus in Omaha, Nebraska. The research and content presented was the result of a massive workplace cohort study the Gallup researchers had completed on patterns, preferences, attitudes, etc. and was incredibly thorough. According to the massive study, the results demonstrated that the primary factor that explained most of the variance related to workplace engagement was the quality of leadership received. Further, the study identified 6 Leadership Behaviors preferred by Millennials which included:

• Providing Purpose in terms of both the business and social value of the enterprise
• Professional Development opportunities to grow and improve skill sets
• Providing a Coaching style of supervision where leaders demonstrate a clear personal and professional interest in their team members
• Provide On-Going Feedback as to their progress and areas for development versus just the normal annual performance evaluation ambush
• Focus on Strengths were team members are allowed to do what they do best
• Encourage Work/Life Integration where social and service opportunities are part of the employment experience

Look at the list again and see if anything is familiar in terms of my last few blogs. These behaviors are what intentional Servant Leaders do. Such leaders are still directing efforts in a very intentional, results driven manner but they are also developing their teams in very deliberate and fulfilling was as well!

Now you certainly don’t have to take my word for it. You can just keep supervising others in the traditional top-down, heavy handed, horrible boss shenanigans way but it will be to your undoing. You see, unlike past generations that just put up with such toxic leadership because we thought we had to, I can promise you Millennials will not. They will challenge you, they will leave you, and they will destroy on social media if you really tick them off! Just read some of the more interesting reviews on Glassdoor.com.

To this I say, good for them. Now I am not advocating chaos in the workplace, but the simple fact is that Millennials are much more aware of workplace legislation that protects employees from such abuses and they have no qualms about accessing such support. Even at a more fundamental level, Millennials know there is a better way of leading; they simply just want to be lead in that way. I recently had the opportunity to attend a training sponsored by the Ken Blanchard Company where they shared some data from one of their workplace studies. The study revealed that when given the choice, 65% of the respondents would prefer a better boss to a significant raise. Now if that does not tell us something about the need to change how we are leading others I do not know what will.

Here is the good news. It is my belief that when you do make a sincere effort to be that Servant Leader we all wish we had, not only will Millennial team members stay with you, they will want to spend time with you, learn from you, and exceed your performance expectations. In my humble experience, Millennials do not provide their loyalty easily but when they do, it is incredibly rewarding because you know you will never fully deserve it.

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I would invite you to email me or to visit my website below and see if any of the training or coaching experiences I offer can provide an impact. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can be of service to you!

Yours in Leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Principal Consultant – Out Loud Strategies

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc