Sunday, April 7, 2019

As Leaders we strive to do well In spite of our flaws (and often because of them!)




As Leaders we strive to do well in spite of our flaws and often because of them! I think one of the many things that hold us back from attempting great things is that we do not believe we are worthy to do so! I have been thinking out loud why so many great leaders do not step up to serve their schools, organizations, and communities. Of     course, I have a few ideas.

Social Media – I have no issues with social media. In fact I wish it was around when I was completing my education(s). Having access to such platforms then would have made it much easier to connect with and keep up with classmates and colleagues. The problem is its anonymity. When anyone for no other reason than their desire to pull others down can weaponize it for that very purpose. All of our shortcomings as well as successes are now laid bare for all the world to see. Only the most self-deluded who believe such things do not matter or believe they will “get a pass” are willing to invite the exposure.

Selective Attention Disorder – our society certainly has evolved to an epidemic of selective attention disorder. Politicians and others will gladly highlight the negative behaviors and decisions of others and opponents while conveniently failing to mention their own or that of their allies. In other words, when considering who we want to follow as leaders, we often highlight agreeable behaviors yet downplay character flaws. It does not matter that an individual has a lifetime of accomplishment for others, some youthful indiscretion or ill-advised comment can sink any ambitions to want to serve the public good. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be judged on our total body of work?

The Perfection Pedestal – we often expect our leaders, especially those in high profile organizational or political roles to be perfect. Now I am no way contradicting my leadership philosophy that leaders should have a strong moral and ethical core by any means, but NO ONE is perfect. I believe the best thing that a high profile leader can do is to readily admit that but at the same time commit to the be the best “work in progress” they can be.

In listening to David Brooks’ book, The Road to Character, he highlights many of the influential leaders and thinkers of (mostly) the 20th century. He focuses on those individuals who were notable leaders in monumental conflicts such as World War II and the very early leaders of important social movements. Authors and influencers of their time that were tireless advocates for social change are also highlighted. Brooks makes a concerted effort to highlight their laudable accomplishments and impact but pulls no punches of their moral failings. Pride, avarice, infidelity, nepotism, etc. are all brought out in the open in challenging detail. Seriously, these were some messed up people! But, they still did amazing things.

I think the point that Brooks is attempting to make is the title of this week’s blog. The best leaders, in spite of their flaws, can and do accomplish great things. Further, in some cases it is because of their flaws that they attempt to do so as a kind of atonement. To make things better for others because they are well aware of a time when their focus was entirely upon themselves.

This is the encouraging news for the rest of us. Now I am going to make an assumption that most people who read this are moderately solid people, morally speaking. In the great line from the movie, Lost Horizon, the citizens of this blog are “moderately honest and moderately happy”! In other words, your life on most days is not a dumpster fire!

With that being understood, I would like to offer the following encouragements (because being a serial encourager is kind of my thing!).

Moral Failings Do NOT Define You, Your RESPONSES to them DO! –
We all make mistakes. We all have character flaws. We all have blind spots in our awareness of how we treat others. Such negatives, however, should not impede our potential for doing really great things. In fact, some of the most compelling stories I have ever heard are ones of redemption and courage to overcome a past to create a better future for both the individual and others. Even on a less dramatic scale, such responses still matter. Apologizing for tense interactions and admitting mistakes goes a long with team members and those closest to you in repairing trust.

Focus on Your WORTHINESS (vs Deservedness) –
In my humble opinion, there are few things in this world that we really deserve (except in my case a stern talking to sometimes!). As my father often told me, the world don’t owe you a living thus there is not much we are entitled to. I do believe, however, that we are worthy of many things. Worthy of love and kindness. Worthy of the opportunity to prove your worth. Worthy of forgiveness, Worthy of the benefit of the doubt. Worthy to lead by serving and serve by leading if we really want to! The problem, however, is that sometimes when we resolve to do something really good, we allow either self or other imposed doubts to stop us. That inner voice that speaker and master coach, Paul Martinelli calls “Mr. Ugly”! For instance, we say to ourselves, you know I really would like to help out in my local community but then Mr. Ugly shows up uninvited and challenges you. “Who do you think you are?!?” When that happens, just go ahead and invite Mr. Ugly to work for the competition and you remind yourself that you are not perfect but you are worthy!

Quit Talking Yourself Out of Opportunities –
The preceding leads me to my next point of not talking yourself out of opportunities because you feel you are not worthy of them. Trust me, if you don’t feel you are worthy of seeking a new role or leadership opportunity, I guarantee someone else does! As I always share with my clients, it is someone else’s job to tell you “no”. It is your job to say “yes” to yourself! We live in an imperfect world but the ONLY way we are going to make our schools, hospitals, businesses, and communities better is when we as flawed people step up . . . . bad hair days and all!


As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,


Bill Faulkner
Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

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