I was communicating with a colleague a few weeks ago about one of our student clients who had earned a great new role. I reminded her about the role she played in helping that student earn that victory and how her investment in that student was a strong factor in that success. Later, it got me thinking out loud that as a coach and by caveat, leaders, that for other people to be successful, we have to be willing to take on their burdens, at least in part. This is not to say that the people we coach and lead are burdensome in any way shape or form. They do not ask us to take on their burdens, but there is a clear transformation when we do. Let me explain through a parable I once heard.
It was a cold winter day when a young girl and her grandfather were walking along a deserted beach. She cherished these moments with her grandfather because she knew he had lived an active and hard life spent in service to his family and others and respected his strength and integrity. He rarely spoke of his own troubles, but the somber weather had put her in a somber mood, so breaking the companionable silence she asked, “Grandfather, what is the heaviest burden in life?” The old man considered this question a moment and with a look of love and a bit of sadness in his voice simply said, “Not to have one.” Not to have one . . . .
Every time I read that story, I am struck by its fundamental truth but applicable complexity. I believe that human beings are not designed to live singular lives. Granted I am all for developing a strong sense of independence and self-reliance, however, in doing so, we are equipped to help others. A life lived solely for ourselves in reality is a type of existence that is absent from any true contribution.
So how can we know what burden to take on? As
speaker and author John Maxwell shares, when attempting to clarify what is
important to you, try answering these three questions:
- What do you sing about – what gives you joy, what do you truly enjoy doing?
- What do you dream about – what is the future you want for yourself?
- What do you cry about – what pulls at your heart, what or who do you develop a burden for?
Now some of my colleagues in the coaching community may disagree with me but as a coach, when I work with a client, in essence, I agree to take on a degree of their burden for a time. These “burdens’ can run the gamut of lack of clear direction, a desire to improve their leadership effectiveness, or lack of confidence in themselves. Granted, the client is ultimately responsible for their own success, but I have noticed a little empathy and help along the way will move the client to a state of success. I believe the same is true for leaders in that from time to time you may need to be called upon to lighten the load of three key burdens your team member is carrying.
A heavy Heart – Kouzes and Posner in their book, The Leadership Challenge share that one of the key roles of a leader is to provide hope. This is especially important in this time of large-scale layoffs and a challenging job market. In fact, Gallup just released a report that employee well-being is at an all-time low. Granted you may be worried about your own prospects in such conditions but as leaders it is vital that you “encourage the heart” as Kouzes and Posner point out. Check in with your team members, keep them informed, but always encourage them and commit to doing everything you can to advocate for them. You should take on this burden ABUNDENTLY.
A troubled Mind – Similar to the above, team members may be concerned and confused as to their prospects. They may also be struggling with how to handle a difficult work problem or a challenging team member. This is where your “leader as coach” skills can have significant impact where you ask powerful questions to help the team member see beyond their current situation and help them problem-solve their way forward. This is not only encouraging, but it also empowers them to handle similar situations more effectively. A distracted team member is not a focused team member. You should take on this burden DELIBERATELY.
A demanding Load – We are all being asked to do more with less resources. Not only are we being asked to do our original work but now take on that of others are backfills are not replaced. Added to this is the press of adding Generative AI skills to help increase productivity. Recent studies by Korn Ferry, Gallup, and McKinsey all point out that the adoption and pivot to AI driven productivity tools is one of the leading stress points in the workplace. In this case, you as the leader must be judicious in what you take on. Likely you still have your own every growing To-Do list to attend to but if there is a task or process you have a great deal of experience with, perhaps you can agree to take on a task or two just to help the team member get a little more caught up. You should take on this burden STRATEGICALLY.
Now here is the kicker, as a leader you can take on the burdens
of Mind, Heart, and Load but it does not work the other way. Whether you like
it or not, you cannot turn around and dump your burdens on your team members.
That is not what they are there for. Similarly, as a coach, no matter how bad
my day has gone or what dumpster fire I am experiencing, the client will never
know. As leaders, we need to learn to compartmentalize what is happening to us
so that it does not burden others. That is just a price of leadership.
At the end of the day, it is important to understand that the
burdens we take on are freely done so by our own volition. People did not ask
us to take them on; we just do so to make a difference in the lives of others
because that is what leaders worth following do. In fact, key moments in
history can be traced back to someone taking on the burden of someone else’s
lack in justice, resources, freedom, etc. That is the power and the caution of
the old man’s words, when we take on a burden it makes life worth living. The
converse is also true. Our team members are not burdens; in fact I have made it
a point to let the people in my orbit know that they are never bothering me!
When we agree to take on the mantle of leadership we become, in some part,
responsible to and for them.
I encourage you to ask yourself, what burdens are impacting your
teams right now that you can address abundantly, deliberately, or
strategically? Inventory each team member and consider or even ask what would
be of greatest help in the here and now?
As always, if I can help you and
the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite
you to contact me.
Yours in leadership,
Bill Faulkner
Independent Coach, Speaker,
and Trainer with Maxwell LeadershipTM
Certified DISC Profile System
Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach
Certified Designing Your Life
Coach
Email
= bill@outloudinc.com
Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com
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John Maxwell Team, please visit
http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/
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NOTE: No AI Agents were harmed
in the creation of this blog. This content reflects the actual research,
thoughts, and considerations of the intended audience of the author – who just
so happens to be a human being!
