Not at altitude? I have two questions.

As someone who has spent his entire adult life, mentoring, training, and coaching leaders, it is incredibly gratifying to help someone reach new heights and grow into their potential. Every now and then, however, I observe that someone may hesitate, pause, or stay in a “holding pattern.” Now there can be a number of reasons for this but when I do notice a leader is not at altitude, I get to thinking out loud about why this is. If anything, a coach is a curious creature so then I may ask one of two questions.

Before I reveal these questions, I want to share a great insight from Master Coach and former Maxwell Leadership coaching faculty lead, Christian Simpson. Christian Simpson is from the UK but has developed a world-wide executive coaching practice. I recently heard Chris share that the power of coaching is that coaches ask us questions we will not or cannot ask ourselves! It is not through any of coach’s insights rather through the questions that are asked that promotes self-reflection and subsequent growth.

So now for the two questions. When I observe a leader who is not operating to their potential or temporarily in a holding pattern, I will ask them a question they will not or cannot ask themselves:

What are you not attempting?

One reason why we do not attempt to reach beyond ourselves is the self-defeating beliefs we place on ourselves. Trust me, these beliefs are of our own maintaining, but they are rarely of our own creation. Past challenges, childhood experiences, lack of supportive people around us are often the sources of self-defeating beliefs. Such past conditions we cannot help but the problem becomes when we hold onto them. We come to believe and thus behave, as if this is our reality. This is all we are ever going to be, do, or know. But is it really? Just because we tried and were unsuccessful once does not mean we will not succeed again!

I have often shared that the words we say to ourselves are both the source and solution for defeating the imposter syndrome which is anchored in self-defeating thoughts and eventual beliefs. The problem is that according to sport performance coach, Trevor Moawad, negative thoughts and self-defeating statements are 5X more impactful than positive ones. We convince ourselves that we cannot do remarkable things; thus, we do not attempt to do so. This is a text-book example of what Christian Simpson teaches about how our thoughts facilitate our beliefs that in turn drive our behaviors and impact our eventual results. Let me share a simple reinforcing graphic below:

Thoughts > Beliefs > Behaviors > Results

In such a scenario, the goal is to break this cascading negative chain at its source – the thoughts we perpetuate about ourselves that inform the beliefs we hold about ourselves. If you find yourself in such a self-perpetuating negative spiral, ask yourself a few questions:

Why am I thinking this about myself?

What evidence confirms or disputes these self-defeating beliefs?

(my experience is when an individual really stops and considers this question objectively, they often discover more evidence to dispute and disrupt such negative thinking because the inventory of wins and success far surpasses the failures and disappointments!)

What would it be like if I focused on the positives versus the negatives?

What am I not attempting because of the (often inaccurate) thoughts I hold about myself?

I am often inspired by stories that demonstrate the potential found in the human spirit. Recently I watched a movie, 14 Peaks: Nothing is Impossible. This true story focuses on Nimsdai Purja who along with a team of his fellow Nepalese climbers scaled all the world’s 14 peaks over 8,000 meters in 6 months and 6 days. This was an incredible feat in light of the fact that the last person to accomplish this took 16 years to do so! Friends and observers throughout the movie shared how Nimsdai’s most powerful attribute was the positive attitude he held about himself and his cause.

What could yours be?

What are you holding back?

This second question is an interesting one in that it brings to light self-limiting beliefs. The difference here is that such beliefs are held by otherwise confident and self-empowered individuals. They are assured of their skill sets, know their strengths and assets, and certainly recognize that their past accomplishment is a predictor of future success. For some reason though, they engage in what can be described as “station keeping” or a holding pattern. They do not fail but neither do they succeed at the altitudes they are truly capable of. It is as if they are waiting for something. They are inexplicably holding themselves back. Perhaps they are waiting for the perfect conditions or opportunities to manifest, but the challenge is that is a passive posture. While they are waiting for the ideal, they are missing out on the opportunities that are right in front of them.

I have asked many of a student and client, “What are you waiting for?” Immediately, they provide a litany of self-limiting reasons such as not enough time, this would mean more work, or a desire to master the present before moving on to the future. The problem with such rationalizations is that you can find yourself waiting a long time. Inevitably, that same person will get back to me a few weeks later and say something to the effect of “you know, I was thinking about what I was waiting for, and for the life of me, I couldn’t think of one truly valid reason.” This is an incredibly important insight because as the late Richard Bole, author of What Color is Your Parachute shared, “we must define our lives now or life’s inertia will certainly do it for us!”

It is my belief that if there is something we truly want, then we will find the energy, time, and will do it, much like Nimsdai Purja. You see, it is the foundational things that fuel accomplishment that are always in abundant supply. We will always find the emotional, psychological, and physical energy to gain that we truly want.

If you find yourself in such a holding pattern, try asking yourself these questions:

What am I waiting for?

What do I need in the future that I do not already have now?

Is the knowledge, energy, time, etc. that I am thinking I need really a restraining element or just an excuse?

What would happen if I just created some movement in the direction of this new goal or aspiration?

Now more than ever, we need leaders who can operate at altitude. They can see the bigger picture, beyond narrowly defined options and cynical partisanship. They can think of solutions that benefit all of us and not just some of us. They can operate under a “both, and” mentality versus the opportunity crushing “either, or.” We need leaders who can see beyond the immediate and project solutions for the future. We need leaders to ask their students, teams, and colleagues questions they will not or cannot ask themselves. We need leaders who will encourage us to attempt and challenge us to not hold back.

So, what are you not attempting? What are you holding back?

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

Certified Designing Your Life Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

The two-word phrase that is holding you back!

 

The two-word phrase that is holding you back!

As a coach and trainer, it is imperative that I not only listen to my students and clients, but that I attend to specific word-use. It is very the words that we use and often tell ourselves that can and does have a significant impact on how we view our potential, progress, and very futures. I was thinking out loud about this when it suddenly occurred to me after a number of interactions that there is a subtle, yet incredibly limiting two-word phrase that limits us – “Yes, but.”

One of the key components in executive coaching is developing options in conjunction with the client in light of certain scenarios. More often than not, this can be an effective strategy but sometimes the options intended to move us forward can be derailed by a simple “yes, but.” For instance, we may be talking about a work reorganization or task work around and then all of a sudden the “yes, but” manifests. Yes, but my manager will never go for this. Yes, but I am not sure the resources are there. Yes, but it will create too much change. See how this works? Before we have even explored possibilities we have defaulted back to probabilities. Before we have even seriously considered the viability of an idea, a path forward, or a new reality, we have stopped any forward progress in its tracks, all because of this simple yet self-limiting two-word phrase.

What makes this challenging is the almost unconscious two-word interplay. The “yes” indicates a cognitive agreement that the option or new strategy is a good idea, necessary, or even viable. However, the “but” stops us cold. It causes us to immediately shut-down progress since all we can perceive is the downside. This is a classic problem-identification versus problem-solving mindset. What makes this even more self-defeating is that such, “but” beliefs are often not grounded in a firm reality. They are just what we believe may happen versus what actually will. How do you know your manager will be opposed to the idea without even hearing your proposal? Are you sure you the resources are not there? Maybe folks will actually welcome a change!

Allow me to present another strategy proposed by Shirzad Charmine, author of Positive Intelligence. Shirzad encourages us to break our “yes, but” programming and try a new phrase instead “Yes, and.” YES this could work AND I am going to present a one-page summary of the idea to my manager. YES, we are resource strapped AND I will come up with a way to scale this idea to implement in phases. YES, this is a good idea AND I know just who to talk to in order to get the buy-in for the change. See how this works? One approach is self-defeating while the other is self-empowering!

According to Gallup, strengths-based development is contrary to this “yes, but” mentality. Essentially, identifying the downside of every possibility may prevent failure but a “yes, and” mindset leads to success. Again, it is all about a change in perspective. Are you playing to win or simply playing not to lose? I encourage a bit of self-coaching the next time you are encountering a possibility. Yes, I would like a promotion but I am not sure I am qualified – as I am constantly telling my students and clients, it is someone else’s job to tell you “no.” Yes, I would like to take on a leadership role but I am not sure I am ready – trust me, no one is fully prepared to take on the responsibility for the lives of others and as long as you lead with positive intent, you will be more than ready enough!

In the final analysis, words have power and the words we tell ourselves have tremendous influence on our self-perception that impacts our behaviors and eventually our results. Often it is not other people or situations that hold us back, it is our very self-limiting behaviors and mindsets that do. Try this for just a few weeks. The next time you catch yourself using the “yes, but” phrase, stop yourself and substitute a “yes, and” alternative. See what happens!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

Certified Designing Your Life Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

If we’re not careful, we will all end up with volleyballs as our best friends!

As new variants of the Covid virus continue to assault our planet, we are in peril again of becoming self-stranding cast aways again due to either government fiat or self-imposed isolation. This has me thinking out loud about the costs of continuous solitary living to the point I am worried we will end up like the Tom Hanks’s character in the film Cast Away where his only friend was an inanimate object in the form of a volleyball that he named Wilson!

The mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical costs associated with loneliness and isolation has been well documented. The recent impacts of Covid has only accentuated such impacts. According to KFF, the imposed social isolation has led to depression and anxiety rates increasing by 32%, alcohol use and substance abuse has increased by 12%, and 4 in 10 adults experienced increased anxiety and depression during the pandemic. Additionally troubling is that the rate of drug overdoses are up 29% from pre-Covid rates. The impacts of peer isolation has been especially harmful to children and adolescents.

In a recent article, reporter Ann Schmidt highlighted a study from the Survey Center of American Life that as a society, we are experiencing a “friendship recession.” Such a friendship deficit has hit American men particularly hard. In 2021, only 27% of men report having at least 6 close friends, down from 55% in 1990!

I would propose that we cannot sustain such deficits of human connection. At our lowest denominator, we were designed to be social animals. As the data shared above indicates, we were not designed to live in isolation from one another. The benefits of fellowship with other humans is incalculable.

We are smarter together – as I often share, I learn more from my students and clients than I can ever learn left to my own devices. The information, perspectives, and experiences of others is a treasure trove of wisdom and information for me.

We are happier together – now I have been known to crack myself up from time to time, but I have never laughed as hard or as long when as when I am with other people. You can observe this among children as they play together and experience a phenomenon referred to “group glee.” Their joy and enthusiasm becomes contagious to the point where they are laughing and happy for the sheer enjoyment of being together. The same holds true for adults, it just takes us a little longer to get there.

We are stronger together – I need to confess that I have often struggled with the term “self-care.” To me it just reeked of fragility and self-indulgence. As I have started to think about this concept more, however, I arrived at the conclusion that the primary reason that we need more of a focus on self-care is that we do not have enough people in our lives who actually do care! We have allowed technology, distance, and fear to separate us from each other. If you extend my logic, what made the Greatest Generation so great is that they were not so separated and distant from each other. Prior to WWII, nuclear families lived in close proximity to each other, often in the same house or at least, same acreage. Friends were truly life-long in that they grew up and spent most of their lives with the same group of people. Author Justin Camp describes the value of such proximate and genuine relationships between people as “Connected Ruggedness.”

Much in the same way as the solid connections to each allowed that great generation to face and defeat the tyranny of the Axis-aligned nations, it will be our own “connected ruggedness” that will allow us to face the challenges that face us now. Their connections to each other made each other strong and brave, and now we need reconnect to each other to do the same. But we have to build back or in many cases, create those connections and that is where we as leaders come in!

Broker Connections – as a leader, you are in the unique position to know a lot of different people from disparate organizations. Take every opportunity you can to introduce a team member to another who has similar interests or is trying to solve the same problem. This starts with making sure the connections within your own team are strong.

Broker Interactions – This can be a challenge if you lead a global team across different time-zones, but it is not impossible. With just a little creative scheduling, you can create virtual experiences that allow team members to get to know each other as people versus a screen-name. As a coach and trainer, of course I am going to recommend something other than a work-related topic. Instead, use such time for a professional development workshop or group building engagement.

Broker Authenticity – You may have heard the phrase that “you can be lonely in a crowded room.” This is because unless we make a concerted effort to genuinely and authentically get to know each other, we might as well be on back on our own islands talking to our good friend Wilson. This is where you as a leader can provide the gift of your own great example by going first! Now I am not talking about divulging your deepest secrets but just talk with people and not at them. Ask them how their day is going, what are they dealing with, what you have been experiencing, etc. The work will still get done, just invest a few minutes in helping make it easier. As pastor and leadership expert Andy Stanley shares, you do not need to fill someone else’s cup, just empty yours!

I get it. People are sometimes messy. Gallup even reported that one of the challenges for returning to hybrid or in-person work is that we now have to re-learn how to deal with each other in the same physical proximity! As humans, we are incredibly adaptable, but we should not get too comfortable living and working isolated from each other. This is not something we should “get used to” nor should any entity continuously force us to do so. The cost is just too great.

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

 

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

Certified Designing Your Life Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

Team members do not need leaders who are bigger than life, they just need ones that care about theirs!

I often get feedback from people when they are surprised to hear me say that some of the best leaders I know are introverts or people who are not as socially outgoing (one does not necessarily equal the other, by the way!) as leaders who have bigger personalities. This surprise is based upon the mistaken belief that personality equals leadership. In fact, I have known a lot of people who can fill a room, but in reality they just fill the hearts of their followers with dread as soon as they walk in. This gets me thinking out loud that team members do not need leaders who are bigger than life, they just need ones to care about theirs!

One of the rookie mistakes that just about every newly hired or promoted team leader makes and believe me I have made just about all of them, is that they believe they have to take on some kind of leadership persona. They feel that effective leadership now requires some kind of image management process where they act or even speak differently than they normally do or did. They believe that the workplace is now some kind of theater-in-the-round where they are playing a leadership character versus building solid character traits. The problem is that such manufactured mannerisms come across as inauthentic at best and condescending at worst. Trust me, our work environments would not be quite the dumpster fire too many are if leaders would focus less on building their leadership personas and focus more on being an exceptional person.

So, if you happen to have a naturally expansive personality, or even if you do not, that is fine. All I am asking is that we change the paradigm. Focus on proving yourself to your followers versus the other way around or expecting them to be impressed by you. There are many ways to do this but here are a few actionable strategies.

Do Something Public – Now on the surface, this strategy reads contradictory at first but, again, it is a matter how where the focus goes. During team meetings, tell their story, not yours. One of the biggest compliments I ever received is from a team member who told me they appreciated the fact I told their story. I would often share testimonials, accomplishments, and shout outs that team members received. This was just one lesson learned on the journey to be a better leader. It taught me that true leadership is about who you lift-up, not who you overshadow.

Do Something in Private – Complete some act of kindness or encouragement for someone on your team. Tell no one else about it including them if possible. Refresh their work-space, bring in a catered lunch for your team, complete a report or brief assignment on their behalf, or write a long overdue note of appreciation. In fact, the more anonymous the better. Just doing something positive for someone else without any expectation of gratitude or notoriety is the purest form of giving.

Do Something by Design – Here’s a little homework, in the next two weeks, do something specific and actionable that will be of assistance to a team member or colleague. According to leadership guru and author John Maxwell, leaders who detract from their teams, usually do so out of carelessness or care lessness, rather than any planned malice. On the other hand, leaders who add value to their followers do so with great intent with a specific outcome in mind. This should be some act that is incredibly personalized and customized to the team member. Something that demonstrates you are paying attention and know them well enough to the point that what you do will have significant meaning to them. The very reason that why I share some of the best leaders I know are introverts is due to their ability to focus on what matters most in and for others. They pay attention to the small things that produce huge results in both their work and relationships.

Do Something by Default – We all have default settings, what are yours? When there is an issue at work, is it your first reaction to blame a team member or ask a team member what happened? Is your default setting to assume the worst of someone or believe in their best? Do you treat team members as employees or as the leaders they are too? Can your default setting be to ask a team member to demonstrate their knowledge as opposed to sharing yours? One of the best things we can do as leaders is to periodically check our default settings. Just like for our computers, our default settings need to be amended from time to time to adjust to new people and situations.

Do Something Easy – Granted, a lot of what I have presented is pretty dramatic but never underestimate the power of the easy stuff and the simple things! Spending a few extra minutes to wish your team good morning (or good evening if you lead a global team!) before you start your day in your physical or virtual office will go a long way. Being open to interruptions can produce great opportunities to interact and mentor. Sending quick “good job” emails that outline in detail what was so good about it can be both affirming and instructional.

Do Something Hard – Okay, let’s assume you are reading this and disagree with everything I have written to this point. You may be thinking, “Bill, I am just a bigger than life kind of person. I have a big personality and I cannot or will not throttle down.” All right sport, I will take you at your word. You’re telling me you are some kind of bad a_ _ leader? I will call your leadership prowess and raise you a gut check to see if you really want to lead or you just want the title. Go ahead, take your shot and do something difficult for a team member! When you do something big on behalf of someone else that will be inconvenient for you, difficult for you, or something that no one else but you can do, then you really become bigger than life at least in their eyes! Perhaps it is a skip-level promotion, maybe it's extending PTO so they can take care of a family member or advocating on their behalf for a role even if it means they will leave your team. If you have the leadership chops, then don’t talk about it, be all about it.

Okay, now maybe I am being the dramatic one but that does not mean I am wrong. In the Five Levels of Leadership, John Maxwell shares leaders who have achieved Level 5 status have done so because of who they are versus their titles or even their many accomplishments. Their character and generous nature are such that people are drawn to them. The difference is that such leaders are bigger than life in the eyes of others and not their own!  It is my belief you can be that kind of person. In fact, I am begging you to be because the world needs that kind of leadership now more than ever.

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

 

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

Certified Designing Your Life Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

 

When it gets really busy, we have to look at time management differently.

When it gets really busy, we have to look at time management differently.  

From the very start of my career, my students have always been my best teachers! When it comes to establishing priorities, one of my great leaders solidified for me that not all projects are equal in terms of priority and not all initiatives deserve equal effort. This got me thinking out loud that there could be a simple way to “grade our priorities” to improve our performance.

I once heard it said that the modern workplace can best be described as being in a state of permanent whitewater. We are constantly reacting to the rocks and eddies of market forces, customer demands, changing mandates from senior leadership, and a whole other host of internal and external forces. In such an environment, sometimes the best we can do is paddle in unison and keep each other from falling out of the raft! Sometimes we get to catch our collective breadth in the calm of the shoals, but like the river, the demands of our enterprise soon demand we get back in the current and hang on!

But what if there was a better way? What if we set a better direction and make some better decisions about where we are headed and doing? I often have conversations with students and clients that want to take more control over their work and life environment. The people I have the privilege to serve are incredibly gifted and hardworking; thus, they find themselves with more projects and initiatives that they and their team can reasonably do. Add onto that a rigorous executive MBA program, and we are now operating in a wholly new dimension of time compression. In order create some order to this process, I often share a strategy to categorize all the projects and initiatives in a way that would allow them to prioritize better. This strategy is not about time management, it is about effort or opportunity management. This strategy recognizes that there are times in our days, weeks, or months, where we have to identify what is most important and attend to that. I believe that when faced with such demands, these are actually DECISIONS we need to make about what is most important and how best to accomplish what we need to do. Therefore, when faced with a certain task or effort, we all have four OPTIONS.

Focus – This is an intense mode of operating that captures the need to engage in a period of laser like focus. Other tasks may be getting done but in essence, the vast majority of thought, energy, and effort are directed toward solving a tricky problem, completing a class or final, addressing a family matter, or creating something that will make a big impact. Focus encourages and compels us to always come back to the problem or opportunity at hand. Even when we are engaged in other tasks, our need to focus on this main priority is never far away. I see this mode of operating among graduate students especially. They still have the demands of family and work, but they learn what and when to apply direct focus.

Maintain – we are currently living in a world where it seems EVERYTHING needs to be a priority. This is not the case and living this way will eventually burn us out. Stephen R. Covey proposed the model of Q2 Time Management. Picture of 2 X 2 Matrix based upon the axis of Important and Urgent along LOW/HIGH intensity. Think about how many things in our day that vie for our attention. The trick is to discern which are truly important and which ones are not. In the options above, focus (and the most productive option) is where we are doing important work but we are also not distracted by “urgent” tasks that are not really so. Sometimes, we need to decide what tasks and relationships can we maintain so that we have the bandwidth to focus. This does not mean we take them for granted, it just means our energy needs to be conserved for certain, more focused tasks at hand.

Delay – back to the Q2 Time Management model discussed, not everything is highly important or highly urgent. When we label a task or opportunity as such, we can always come back to it when conditions allow. This does not mean something will not get done, it just means it will not get done right now! There can be some advantages to delaying action as well. When we do not immediately solve a problem for a team member, they may just take the initiative to figure it out for themselves and therefore add to their skill sets. If we do not knee-jerk a response to an irritating email or situation, it gives us the mental and emotional margin to consider a more mature and constructive response.

Defer – this is a tough decision to make or option to pursue since we often feel we cannot defer on anything! Fear of missing out follows us into adulthood! The truth is we can and sometimes should defer effort or energy on certain aspects of our lives until a more opportune time. For instance, as my students reach the end of an academic term, social and more leisure pursuits have to be deferred until this busy season is over. The most important part of this strategy is giving yourself permission to do so! I recently conducted a workshop on Emotional Intelligence and one of the hallmarks of an emotionally intelligent and mature leader is one that can delay gratification on a short-term goal for a longer-term win! The issue is that in an increasingly overwhelming social media and streaming environment, we feel we must consume everything. We do not. Trust me, most of what we defer will still be there when we find ourselves in a more amenable environment or situation.

The skill in all of this is to learn which one of these four options do you need to choose for what tasks or seasons on our lives. We simply cannot do everything, so we need to get better at determining what will provide us the greatest return on our investment of time, energy, and effort. Keep in mind also, that time frames can be very limited and are not permanent states of being. You will more than likely not need to be laser focused for very long. It is important, however, that you let others know what you need to do so. If a phone call or email does not get returned immediately, it eventually will.

Look at your calendar and what it is presenting to you this month. Is everything there of equal importance? Is there something that requires maximum effort for a few days? What is the ONE thing you should focus on this month that will yield big results? Is there anything on that calendar that can be delayed or deterred until a better time?

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

 

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

Certified Designing Your Life Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

When leading, don’t discount your “everyday glory!”

 

When leading, don’t discount your “everyday glory!”

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for the grand gesture, the going all in, that big leap of faith that changes everything! More often than not, however, it is the small steps of everyday effort and everyday courage that brings about everyday glories! Let me share how a documentary got me thinking out loud about this.

To start, we need to do a quick rewind. Growing up in the deep South our musical options were limited. We listened to southern rock, but we celebrated in Motown! That’s kind of what happens when the Allman Brothers and Otis Redding share the same geography! With that in mind, needless to say progressive rock bands from Ottawa, Canada were not a priority on our local radio stations play rotation. Stay with me here.

This brings us to present day. I was recently viewing a documentary of the Canadian band, RUSH and their final U.S. concert tour. One of their avid fans was sharing how the song, “Everyday Glory” provided him the motivation to recover from a debilitating accident. OK, so now I am really curious how a song can have that kind of impact so allow me to share some lyrics.

Everyday Sunrise

Another Everyday Story

Rise from the Ashes Ablaze

With Everyday Glory!

 

If the Futures Looking Dark

We’re the Ones Who Have to Shine

If There is No One In Control

We’re the Ones that Draw the Line

Though We Live in Trying Times

We’re the Ones that Have to Try

Though We Know Time has Wings

We’re the Ones who Have to Fly

 

No Matter What They Say

Rise from the Ashes Ablaze

With Everyday Glory

I believe at the end of the day, that is what people expect leaders to do.

• Just make something a little bit better
• Just make someone’s life a little bit easier
• Just make your team a little bit stronger

I think one of the reasons that leaders often don’t attempt to do so is that they think they have to “go big or go home.” I also believe that is why people hesitate to take on leadership roles because they are under the false belief, they are not a big enough personality to do so. Nothing can be further from the truth. Just go. Just try. Just rise!

I have recently earned a credential as a certified Designing Your Life coach. This content is based upon the innovate work done by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans from the Stanford University Design Your Life Studio. One of the strategies shared in designing the life you want is called “Setting the Bar Low and Clearing It.” Essentially, in order to be more effective and prevent ourselves from being hampered by overwhelm, we just need to set small, incremental goals and achieve them with consistent effort. The point is these small efforts eventually add up to big results! Like the song says, we just have to try.

Trust me, I know this can be exhausting and that is why making the commitment to be an effective leader is an incredibly selfless act. Sometimes we just have to be strong for others when we feel weak ourselves. Sometimes we just have to believe in and for them when we often doubt ourselves. Sometimes we just have show up and hold the line when we are not sure we have the strength. That’s OK. Your folks don’t need you to be bigger than life . . . they just need you to care about theirs. That is certainly doable, right? You can clear that bar, can’t you? Of course, you can and that is what it means to achieve an everyday glory!

Kouzes and Posner in their work, The Leadership Challenge, share that we face small “moments of truth” everyday and all the time. Often, we are not even aware of them, but your impact and influence grows with that encouraging word, the one innovate idea, that extra effort, that everyday glory.

If you would like to learn more about the Designing Your Life approach, please visit, https://designingyour.life/ Also, here is a link to the lyrics and song of Everyday Glory - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3g3aJMq3zk

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

Certified Designing Your Life Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

The ONLY thing you should compare yourself to!

 

In my last blog I wrote about strategies for defeating to the Imposter Syndrome. The response was such that I started thinking out loud about the other drivers that lead otherwise incredibly successful and talented individuals to think they were somehow “less than.” After some thought, along with an insightful conversation with one of my students, it occurred to both of us the harm COMPARING can do. I will explain further but suffice to say that I believe the only thing you should compare yourself to is your own potential!

Now as a general concept, I have no problem with making comparisons. It is how we evaluate good, better, and best options. For example, when comparing a product or service we will evaluate it based on X options or features at Y price point. So far so good in the compare and contrast world! And yes, the car buying process for me is a full-day marathon and I have significant sympathy for the hapless sales associate who made the innocent mistake of asking “how can I help you today?”

The problem, however, is when we make ourselves the subject of the comparison because rarely will it involve making comparisons about better or best. Unfortunately, when professionals are comparing their work, talents, skills, etc. with others, it at best results in a zero-sum game and at worst, unfair and inaccurate conclusions about our worth and work. You see when we make such comparisons, it does not affirm us, it diminishes us. Our comparisons become value judgements of not better or best but right versus wrong, better or worse, success or failure where we inevitably come out on the short end. Once done, we put ourselves right back on the hamster wheel of self-doubt and self-criticism, thus; continually feeding into the Imposter Syndrome time and time again.

U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt once gave his now famous “Man in the Arena” speech where he stated “it is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of good deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.” Upon reflecting on his words, author and speaker Brene Brown shares “nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it’s a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.” Now that is a lot of wisdom from two individuals born over a century apart!

For those who know me, you know full well that I constantly stress the personal growth of myself and others. When it comes to our worthiness, however, the ONLY thing we should be comparing ourselves to is our potential! There will always be someone stronger, smarter, better looking (shocking right?!?), etc. than me but that in no way diminishes my talents and abilities. It does not make me less than. That fact does not make you less than either. I want that fact to land fairly hard on you.

It is my belief that each one of us is walking around on the planet for a specific reason. That Is not arrogance, it is in fact quite terrifying that I was designed (with custom features!) that allow me to do something that makes a difference, at a time that makes a difference, with people that will make a difference. Therefore, in order to do that as effectively as possible, we should not endeavor to live our lives and do our jobs like someone else, rather we should do these things in the best way we possibly can! In the way that only you can do! In order to do that however, we should be challenging ourselves to every day get a little bit better, a little bit more informed, a little bit more aware, and so forth and so on, which will inevitably jump us into our (a.k.a. YOUR) boundless potential! Once that happens, I promise you will be quite the opposite of “less than”. In fact, you will be more than good enough! You will be exactly what we need, at the time it matters the most, with the people who need it the most. I want that to land solidly on you as well!

How and where you grow it is entirely up to you and your life mission, but I encourage you to bucket your efforts into three main categories:

• What do you want to KNOW (that you do not know . . . yet)?
• What do you want to be able to DO (that you are temporarily unable to do . . .yet)?
• What do you want to BECOME (that you are presently not . . . yet)?

One great resource that I am credentialed to coach, lead trainings, and conduct masterminds on is John Maxwell’s, The15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. This work outlines powerful growth principles that get us moving in the right direction smack into our potential.

For a wonderful adaptation of President Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena speech, see this promotional video from Leadercast 2015 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zagQsQ_ySFk

 

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

 

Yours in leadership,

 

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM\

Certified DISC Profile System Consultant and Gallup Strengths Coach

 

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

 

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc