Monday, March 5, 2018

When You Disengage, You Forfeit You Ability to Influence!



We are certainly living in contentious times. For a variety of reasons, some very legitimate and some imagined, we as a society are in a swirling process of joining camps and causes, drawing lines and demanding limits, picking issues as we pick sides. As a result, a common strategy is to disengage from those people and policies of which we disagree through boycotts, protests, and “us versus them” social media campaigns. Whereas such actions are legitimate it does cause me to think out loud is it the best strategy to produce the societal changes desired? You see, when we choose to disengage and cut off dialogue, then what happens to our ability to influence outcomes?

I think it is human nature to sometimes pick sides. It makes us feel good to think WE are better than THEM. We hold the moral high ground and they are just wrong! The problem as I see it is while we are so busy getting even, nothing is getting done! I know this is hard to read for some of us who are so rightfully outraged over organizational, local, national, or world events but you have to ask yourself what is most important? What do you really want to see happen?

This is where courageous leadership begins. This is where you have to decide what is more important, your position on an issue or progress on an issue? I know it is a tough choice to make but your answer will reflect how important lasting change on an issue that is important to you really is. With that being said, I would propose that when bad things happen around you that trouble you, you have to get closer to the people, groups, and situations that caused it or can influence outcomes, not further away. You have got to let them know you are willing to engage with them to resolve problems if they are willing to do so well. That truly is the claiming the moral high ground! So, let’s say you are willing to give it a try, here are three strategies that may help you:

Get Proximate – Bryan Stevenson is an author and activist who heads up the Equal Justice Initiative which focuses on criminal justice reform, especially when it comes to youth offenders. He is also the author of the compelling book, Just Mercy. During a presentation at the Global Leadership Summit simulcast, Bryan stressed the importance of becoming proximate to people and groups we disagree with or don’t understand. His advice is when there are disagreements, we need to engage more not less. When we do so, we can influence, gain perspective, and, most importantly, make progress!

Focus More on the PROBLEM and Less on the PEOPLE – Jared Cohen is the CEO of the Google offshoot, Jigsaw. Jigsaw is a social media influencer that directs attention to a variety important issues such as ISIS and its use of social media to recruit new members or combatting intentionally misleading content on the web. His list of contacts extends on both sides of the political spectrum and his reach is international. In a recent article in Fast Company magazine, members of his team discuss the importance of focusing more on the PROBLEM versus the ACTORS involved. In other words, if you focus on solely on the personalities involved you miss the opportunity to make progress on what matters most. People will come and go but the problems or issues we wish to address can still be there long after they are gone.

Avoid the Either/Or Trap – This is the tough one for many of us. When we become so convinced of the “rightness” of our position or opinion that it leaves no room for compromise or progress, then we create either/or scenarios that essentially state, “either you comply with my position or I will no longer engage with you.” Once that happens, there is no room for negotiation or compromise. Further, problems that impact organizations and certainly societies are too complex for either/or thinking. Such issues are what leadership author Ron Heifetz calls in his book, Leadership Without Easy Answers, “Type III Problems." Essentially Type III problems are those that are difficult to define, and possible solutions are equally unclear. When a problem has those characteristics, we must commit to what he calls “adaptive work” in creating lasting solutions to vexing problems.

Trust me, I get it. Sometimes we get so fed up. We are sick and tired of being sick and tired! We just want the issue and those associated with it to just go away. These are legitimate feelings, but the problem is the issue and the people rarely do go away. They are still present even if we disengage thus the issue or situation repeats itself and the destructive cycle starts all over again.

But here’s the thing. If Dr. King never engaged with President Johnson, the civil rights movement may not have gained as much momentum as quickly as it did. If elected officials did not engage with business leaders as much as they did in the early 1970s, environmental protections may never have existed.

When a negative situation arises in your organization, community, and beyond, I am not asking you to compromise your principles and passions. I am simply asking to consider the most effective leadership strategy to affect change. You probably have no idea how influential you really are. Your passion will be an impact multiplier. Just let others see it. Allow them to show you theirs. Find agreements and common ground when and where you can. Respect the thoughts of others but make sure they respect yours. At the end of the day, it is not about you or me. It is about safer schools. It’s about healthy and safe workplaces free of harassment. It’s about finding lasting solutions versus quick fixes.

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I would invite you to email me or to visit my website below and see if any of the training or coaching experiences I offer can provide an impact. I am also pleased to announce the launch of my first book, Leading Out Loud: Strategies for Raising Your Leadership Voice! available on Amazon.com. It may just help you develop your leadership platform around issues that are important to you! Also, as a bonus, if you go to my Out Loud Strategies website (www.outloudinc.com) and enter your contact information, I will send you a FREE guide to establishing a mentoring initiative program in your organization! Such an initiative would be critical to add value to your organization!

Yours in Leadership,


Bill Faulkner
Principal Consultant – Out Loud Strategies
Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

No comments:

Post a Comment