In this graduation season,
I often hear students talk about taking a “gap” year to help “find” themselves.
This got me thinking out loud . . . Really?! You have to find yourself? You’re RIGHT THERE!!
Now obviously I know what
people mean whey they say this but I believe we go about it all wrong! You see,
I think lots of time when we are looking for insight or some new personal
awareness, we just go on with our lives hoping that some epiphany will strike
like some lightning bolt of self-awareness! It just doesn’t work that way (thankfully, I think that would be painful!) and
besides, you can take ten gap years and still be waiting! And as leadership and
personal effectiveness guru, John Maxwell states: “If nothing changes, nothing ever
changes!”
Let me propose another strategy.
Instead of taking a passive approach and waiting to find yourself, take
an ACTIVE approach and actually CREATE yourself! We are born with the human
potential to change our thoughts, attitudes, knowledge, and abilities to
whatever we desire to be. The kicker, though, is that this requires us to be
INTENTIONAL about it. Let me share a case in point.
Years ago, I met an
impressive young leader, let’s call him “E”. When I met E he was polished, a
great public speaker, dressed impeccably, had a solid work ethic, and was incredibly
well-mannered. My initial thought was that E had grown up in an upper middle
class home with nurturing parents who loved and encouraged him to be his best.
I could not have been more wrong! E actually grew up in one of the toughest
neighborhoods in Miami. As a child he delivered drugs for his single mother. By
the time he was 12, he lost both his mother and older sister to the ravages of
drug addiction and AIDS. He was left alone to take of himself and look after
his younger sister. But E decided to CREATE himself into something better. He
INTENTIONALY rose above the situation and environment he was in to become the
sharp young man when I met him. He went on to earn his college degree and made
sure his younger sister did too and now works with youth. The point is that E
knew at a young age that in order for
things to change FOR us, things have to change WITHIN us!
So how do we go about
CREATING ourselves? I don’t pretend to know exactly how but here are some tips that
have helped me:
- Determine what it is that you WANT to DO or BE (granted, you need some reality here but don’t be afraid to stretch yourself!)
- Ascertain what skills, knowledge, attributes, etc. you need in order to get there
- Develop a GROWTH PLAN that will lead you to this LIFE DESTINATION
- Enlist coaches, friends, mentors, etc. that will SUPPORT you in this journey
- Understand some of those around you will not want to see you change and improve
- Develop the MINDSET and HEARTSET that holds on to the INTENTIONAL process of hard work required to CREATE ourselves.
Here is one final thought:
You can CONTINUALLY do this! Different stages of life require us to become different
people in some very significant ways. I believe the most successful people
understand this and create strategies to help them make the changes needed.
As always if I can help you and the
people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I would invite
you to email me or to visit my website below and see if any of the training or
coaching experiences I offer can provide an impact! Also, as a bonus, if you go
to my Out Loud Strategies website (www.outloudinc.com) and enter your contact information, I will
send you a FREE guide to establishing a mentoring initiative program in your
organization! Such an initiative would be critical in order to add value to
your organization!
Yours in Leadership,
Bill Faulkner
Principal Consultant –
Out Loud Strategies
Independent Coach,
Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team TM
Email = bill@outloudinc.com
Visit our website
at: www.outloudinc.com
Feel free to “LIKE” our
FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc
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