The 5 Heroic SHOULDS of Servant Leaders.

The heroes of the new millennia will be servant leaders, quietly working out of the spotlight to transform the world – Ann McGee Cooper and Duane Tramwell (Hero as Leader to Servant as Leader). What a great quote from Ann and Duane! I have often written about servant leadership, but I have become more and more convinced that the only viable leadership approach left to salvage our businesses, schools, universities, hospitals, and governments is that of Servant Leadership. Therefore, more and more I have been thinking out loud about what Servant Leaders ARE, KNOW, and DO!

It is my belief that leadership manifests in those three ways:

Who we ARE – this is about our character, out values, and our habits as individuals.  The best leaders have a clear since of who they are but they are always looking to improve. They are constantly monitoring and calibrating their motives and attitudes to be on solid ground with their mission, their people, and their own integrity.

What they KNOW – I have often heard it said that leaders are learners. In fact, if you study the habits of some of the more well know entrepreneurs, you will find they are voracious consumers of information, books, and perspectives. They are constantly reinventing themselves and not resting on old information but seeking new frontiers of knowledge. Effective leaders are always learning in order to be effective with their teams and their roles.

What they can DO – Obviously, effective leaders have a bias toward action. They are experimenters and doers. They have tremendous amounts of credibility with their teams because they have learned the processes and strategies to implement and execute ideas. From basic organization to more complex project and people management skills, leaders worth following are always updating their own skill-sets.

With these dimensions in mind, I would propose that truly skilled servant leaders should KNOW they can DO the following and are able to do so because of who they ARE.

Listen without Judgement – in far too many conversations, we are evaluating instead of just listening. I once heard author and pastor Andy Stanley say is best when encouraged leaders to not “how” an idea to death! Often when eager and gifted team members bring ideas forward, our first reaction is to get into the “hows” such as “how are we going to do that, how are we going to pay for it, or how are we gong to find the time to do that?” Instead, we should start with “wow!” as in “Wow, that is a great idea or Wow, I really appreciate your initiative!” See the difference?

Be Authentic – as leaders, we need to be authentic and real to our teams. That does not mean we wear every emotion on our sleeve, but we never try to portray an image but be the leader we want to be! The leader that cares more about people than things, takes most of the blame but shares more of the credit, and that admits mistakes and makes things right.

Build Community – great leaders know how to build community in the workplace, but they know it is not easy. They have to focus on:

            The people they gather

            The value they want to intentionally add

            The direction and strategies they set to create community

If all the above are in alignment, then the possibility exists to build a caring, supportive, and accountable community (versus the dumpster fire that too often typifies most work environments!).

Share Power – this is tough for many. But leaders who are emotionally mature and secure have no problems with this. They know the best way to lead an engaged and incredibly productive team is to allow members to “own” their work and, subsequently, their results! Simply put, this takes courage on the part of the leader. Primarily because their own leaders are hesitant to do so! Heroic leaders who know they should share power and do so out of habit, usually experience incredible returns on such an investment.    

Develop People – finally, and speaking of investments, the best ones you can make as a leader is to invest in your team members. Developing others may not be the only factor in personal and organizational success but I can guarantee neglecting to do so will be a primary source of failure! Heroic leaders intentionally develop their team members but in a way that is customized to their goals, learning styles, and personal strengths. Robert Greenleaf, the founder of Servant Leadership, often wrote, the best way to determine if someone is an effective servant leader is to observe if their followers are happier, wiser, stronger, and better off due to the efforts of their leader.

As leaders, there are many things we should be doing but I would like to encourage you to do the difficult things, the inconvenient things, and the heroic things. Anyone can lead at baseline, but it takes a special person to lead at a higher level because they simply have a higher calling to do so!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

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Who invited all these people? Multi-Generational Leadership in the workplace.

We now have five distinct generational cohorts in the modern workplace. With young at heart Traditionalists wanting to still make an impact, Boomers delaying retirement and post-Millennials now emerging, it is getting interesting out there! Throw in us grumpy GenXers and a whole bunch of wacky Millennials, I have been thinking out loud about what interesting times we now live and lead in!

Recently, I had an opportunity to present a workshop on Multi-Generational Leadership for the alumni of a prestigious business school with my great colleague, Kelly Noble (the most un-Millennial, Millennial I know!). Just presenting to such a life-span diverse audience was fascinating along with the dynamics that emerged. Whereas there is an entire cottage industry of speakers, books, and curriculums that highlight the Millennials in the workplace, such efforts are insufficient because they only address one cohort, albeit now the majority one. In order to be leadership effective, therefore, leaders need to attend to key principles in leading a cross-generational teams. These are purposively broad since we need to be very nimble in our approach. Essentially, leaders who have age-diverse teams should focus on the following:

Generationally Inclusive –

It all starts with the driving belief that ALL ages add value to workplace. Unfortunately, even in this time to heightened sensitivity to diversity issues, age discrimination is rampant and the most unchecked and unmonitored. The very fact that some career advisors encourage older candidates to not include years of graduation and employment chronology is telling. Instead, as leaders we should hire for and focus on candidate’s assets versus any age-assumed deficits What a great opportunity we must capitalize on the years of experience and wisdom of perhaps an older candidate and the innovative digital skills and energy of younger ones. Within work units we can match older team members with younger ones for intentional “Mentoring/Reverse Mentoring” where skills and wisdom are cross-pollinated.

Constantly Adaptive –

As leaders, we need to be incredibly nimble and adaptive when it comes to leading, especially when leader across cohorts. Do we have Leave Policies that now capture the preferences of modern-day parents? Do we allow team members the flexibility to care for their aging parents? Is work scheduled and located in such a way that it allows for flexible schedules and time zones but at the same time fosters consistent contact and interaction among team members. Are we encouraging “micro-internships” for younger workers so that they can gain the skills they are so often accused of not having?

Skills-Based Instructive –

The multi-generational workplace is the perfect conduit for 360 Learning up, down, and across generations. Organizations and units that are not learning are soon out paced.

As a leader, you should ensure that communication, tech/digital skills, people-facing communication/interpersonal and business process skills are front and center along with industry-specific innovations.

Talent-Focused Innovative –

Whether you realize it or not, the improved economy has started a veritable “arms race” for talent. If we want the best person for the roles we need to fill, then we need to expand our notions of the “ideal candidate”. We need to be focusing more on what is RELEVANT versus what is RECENT. In other words, there could be skills and competencies some candidates have already mastered. Accordingly, we should hire for: what author and speaker Tim Elmore calls the 3 Cs - Competence, Character, and Chemistry as opposed to age assumptive skills sets. In short, our focus should be on what candidates can DO versus what they ARE!

Contribution Celebrative –

Perhaps one of the most important leadership maxims is that “what you reward gets repeated!” We should be cautious about what we are over emphasizing and what we are over-looking. We can do that by expanding our view of what constitutes a noteworthy “contribution”. Our reward systems and metrics cannot exclusively rely on money metrics. We should also include new innovations, increased efficiencies, client satisfaction and retention, etc. In such a structure, younger, less experienced team members know they are making significant impacts along with their more business savvy seniors.

The bottom-line is this. If you have been in your role for nine months, you “own” that job. Your success will eventually be dependent on the team you have assembled. Make it great one by making it an inclusive one!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

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As Leaders we strive to do well In spite of our flaws (and often because of them!)

As Leaders we strive to do well in spite of our flaws and often because of them! I think one of the many things that hold us back from attempting great things is that we do not believe we are worthy to do so! I have been thinking out loud why so many great leaders do not step up to serve their schools, organizations, and communities. Of     course, I have a few ideas.

Social Media – I have no issues with social media. In fact I wish it was around when I was completing my education(s). Having access to such platforms then would have made it much easier to connect with and keep up with classmates and colleagues. The problem is its anonymity. When anyone for no other reason than their desire to pull others down can weaponize it for that very purpose. All of our shortcomings as well as successes are now laid bare for all the world to see. Only the most self-deluded who believe such things do not matter or believe they will “get a pass” are willing to invite the exposure.

Selective Attention Disorder – our society certainly has evolved to an epidemic of selective attention disorder. Politicians and others will gladly highlight the negative behaviors and decisions of others and opponents while conveniently failing to mention their own or that of their allies. In other words, when considering who we want to follow as leaders, we often highlight agreeable behaviors yet downplay character flaws. It does not matter that an individual has a lifetime of accomplishment for others, some youthful indiscretion or ill-advised comment can sink any ambitions to want to serve the public good. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be judged on our total body of work?

The Perfection Pedestal – we often expect our leaders, especially those in high profile organizational or political roles to be perfect. Now I am no way contradicting my leadership philosophy that leaders should have a strong moral and ethical core by any means, but NO ONE is perfect. I believe the best thing that a high profile leader can do is to readily admit that but at the same time commit to the be the best “work in progress” they can be.

In listening to David Brooks’ book, The Road to Character, he highlights many of the influential leaders and thinkers of (mostly) the 20^th century. He focuses on those individuals who were notable leaders in monumental conflicts such as World War II and the very early leaders of important social movements. Authors and influencers of their time that were tireless advocates for social change are also highlighted. Brooks makes a concerted effort to highlight their laudable accomplishments and impact but pulls no punches of their moral failings. Pride, avarice, infidelity, nepotism, etc. are all brought out in the open in challenging detail. Seriously, these were some messed up people! But, they still did amazing things.

I think the point that Brooks is attempting to make is the title of this week’s blog. The best leaders, in spite of their flaws, can and do accomplish great things. Further, in some cases it is because of their flaws that they attempt to do so as a kind of atonement. To make things better for others because they are well aware of a time when their focus was entirely upon themselves.

This is the encouraging news for the rest of us. Now I am going to make an assumption that most people who read this are moderately solid people, morally speaking. In the great line from the movie, Lost Horizon, the citizens of this blog are “moderately honest and moderately happy”! In other words, your life on most days is not a dumpster fire!

With that being understood, I would like to offer the following encouragements (because being a serial encourager is kind of my thing!).

Moral Failings Do NOT Define You, Your RESPONSES to them DO! –

We all make mistakes. We all have character flaws. We all have blind spots in our awareness of how we treat others. Such negatives, however, should not impede our potential for doing really great things. In fact, some of the most compelling stories I have ever heard are ones of redemption and courage to overcome a past to create a better future for both the individual and others. Even on a less dramatic scale, such responses still matter. Apologizing for tense interactions and admitting mistakes goes a long with team members and those closest to you in repairing trust.

Focus on Your WORTHINESS (vs Deservedness) –

In my humble opinion, there are few things in this world that we really deserve (except in my case a stern talking to sometimes!). As my father often told me, the world don’t owe you a living thus there is not much we are entitled to. I do believe, however, that we are worthy of many things. Worthy of love and kindness. Worthy of the opportunity to prove your worth. Worthy of forgiveness, Worthy of the benefit of the doubt. Worthy to lead by serving and serve by leading if we really want to! The problem, however, is that sometimes when we resolve to do something really good, we allow either self or other imposed doubts to stop us. That inner voice that speaker and master coach, Paul Martinelli calls “Mr. Ugly”! For instance, we say to ourselves, you know I really would like to help out in my local community but then Mr. Ugly shows up uninvited and challenges you. “Who do you think you are?!?” When that happens, just go ahead and invite Mr. Ugly to work for the competition and you remind yourself that you are not perfect but you are worthy!

Quit Talking Yourself Out of Opportunities –

The preceding leads me to my next point of not talking yourself out of opportunities because you feel you are not worthy of them. Trust me, if you don’t feel you are worthy of seeking a new role or leadership opportunity, I guarantee someone else does! As I always share with my clients, it is someone else’s job to tell you “no”. It is your job to say “yes” to yourself! We live in an imperfect world but the ONLY way we are going to make our schools, hospitals, businesses, and communities better is when we as flawed people step up . . . . bad hair days and all!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

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Talent or Character: A Career Paradox?

“Talent get you in the door, but character keeps you in the room!” Pretty wise words by leadership expert John Maxwell. But in the fast-paced world of the new digital economy, what wins? In my work with established professionals and leaders, I often think out loud about what matters most to them and their employers.  

A recent whitepaper by the Business Higher Education Forum reveals startling trends and facts about the types of jobs that are emerging in the digital economy and the skill-sets that will be in demand. The researchers discovered that, yes, technical Digital Building Block skills such as managing and analyzing data, programming, and cyber security will be in high demand. But there are two other skill areas will be critical: Business Enabling skills such as project management, digital design, and other business processes will be needed to operationalize digital solutions. Leadership skills which the researchers call soft or “human” skills focus on communication, critical thinking, collaboration, analytical skills and creativity are also incredibly important. Trust me, there is nothing soft about solid leadership!

The researchers went on to point out that individuals that possess at least some baseline competencies in all three areas even though they may excel in two enjoy higher job mobility as well as higher earning potential. Further, such balanced individuals are incredible competitive and much sought after for more senior, C-Suite roles. Finally, the sheer number of job opportunities that require these three areas will be staggering!

Both Digital Building Blocks and Business Enabling skills focus on talent, however, Leadership skills are solidly grounded in character. In David Brooks compelling book, The Road to Character, he contends that character is the foundation for any success in life. Those without it eventually become victim to their lack of virtue and self-discipline. Character, however, can be developed and grown which is the good news. The bad news is that it takes a lot of work.

So now that I have made the case of for the need of both talent and character, how do we demonstrate to our teams or even future employers that we have both?

Focus on Self AND Others

Many leadership programs these days involve a “Working on Self” focus through assessments, mindfulness, and other interventions. Now you may be thinking “What’s wrong with that?” On balance nothing as long as there IS a balance of using those tools to add value to others! Leadership in its purest sense is OTHER directed though not always other oriented. You can and should do the important internal work but eventually you have to lead on, for, or toward something involving some ones!

Focus on what’s Relevant versus What’s Recent

Far too often we do not realize our own transferrable skills. In fact, the researchers from the report above state that the majority of job applicants do not list the skills they have in the three domains even though they clearly have them or used them at one time. The biggest mistake that applicants (and many hiring managers) make is deciding that earlier experience is not valid experience. Nothing can be further from the truth especially in light of the fact that many of the jobs we had earlier in our careers required us to be the “doers” of many of the processes captured in these domains.

Focus on the Future

You can always learn new techniques or skills through a course or a certification program. There are many on-the-job opportunities to learn the digital building blocks needed to thrive in the ever-evolving economy. There are many free on-line courses and other continuing education opportunities available that are very cost effective. While you are spinning up the technical skills continue to build the Character Muscles as author Jim Loehr calls them. Character comes from doing the hard things, the inconvenient things, or the unpopular things NOW so that your reputation for the future is impeccable.  

So back to the original question, does talent trump character? You certainly need both but think about how you would prefer the people working with or for you? What are you willing to train someone on and how do you want them to come already “factory equipped”? I would wager you are happy to train team members on the technical skills but you would expect them to already have a strong moral and character center. 

David Brooks goes on to share that as human beings we are much like “crooked timber” and it should be our primary ambition to smooth out the rough spots and wood knots. After that, everything is gravy!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

Believe in Yourself by Balancing the Ledger!

Believe in Yourself by Balancing the Ledger!

Time for a leadership confessional. Whether we want to admit it or not, even the most gifted and talented professionals struggle with confidence and belief in themselves from time to time. This happens when we are in a new role, tasked with an unfamiliar project, or experience some sort of unexpected life change. This impacts us. It starts to create doubt and erode confidence. Modern management and leadership literature often refers to this as the “imposter syndrome” where we do not feel able and/or worthy of our leadership roles.

With that in mind, I have been thinking out loud about confidence and its origins for quite some time. Adult Development theorist Arthur Chickering states that confidence is critical in life success, but I would argue the construct of confidence is a little understood component of human potential. I have become more and more convinced, confidence is the impact multiplier since confidence bridges the gap between what one can do (potential) and what one will do (performance). With that in mind, here is my formula for confidence:

Progressive Accomplishment + Belief in Self + Worthiness = Confidence

I outlined this in one of my earlier posts. Progressive Accomplishment is the intellectual, physical, and emotional progress we make each day. We start with small wins and successes that we build upon to create larger wins and successes. The talent development industry calls that “successive approximation”. But we have to track this!

Belief in Self is foundational and I have often written about this. Confident people have a healthy self-appreciation for what they can do and what they have the potential to do. But we have to practice this!

Worthiness (vs deservedness) reinforces to a leader they are worthy of where they are and what they are doing. It is the belief that you are just as worthy as anyone else to have that position or role. But we have to believe this!

So how do we DO this? How can we better track, practice, and believe in our leadership abilities? I would suggest we Balance the Ledger of what we perceive to be our leadership debits with accurate credits! If you are like me, we are our own worse critics. In this world of social media trolling, advertisers that create unrealistic images and lifestyles, and increased social isolation from each other, it is no wonder why we feel we are just a bunch of imposters walking around the planet! 

Now listen to me, I am not suggesting an unrealistic, everyone gets a trophy at Camp Self-Esteem kind of approach. What I am suggesting is that yes, there are leadership qualities and skills we need to develop BUT that is only half the ledger! If we only focus on the loss side of things we are not getting an accurate accounting of who we really are and what we are capable of. We need to identify the credits.

I would like you to try a little experiment. Create a list of your leadership debits and credits. I know you know your liabilities all too well since you probably remind yourself of them on a daily basis! However, I want you to also identify your assets. Furthermore, since it is just solid business practice to have more profit than loss for YouInc., for every ONE liability you list, I want you to identify TWO assets! That’s just good business.

• For every area to develop list two strengths
• For every defeat list two victories
• For every step back you made list two steps forward you accomplished
• For every deadline you missed list two where you exceeded expectations
• For every personal loss list two instances where you added value to others
• For every past regret list two aspirations for the future

I will be the first to admit I am a rampant serial encourager! I just want to help people overcome self-doubt. You see when you doubt yourself, you are committing a crime against yourself because self-doubt robs you of your passion, progress, and potential! Life is challenging enough as it is, no sense in you being your own under the bus thrower! Balance the ledger and make sure what you are telling yourself is not just half the narrative but the complete story!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

To be a Great Leader, You Don’t Have to be Great!

To be a Great Leader, You Don’t Have to be Great!

Hockey legend Wayne Gretsky or basketball icon Michael Jordan. These are two individuals synonymous with greatness in sports and life. But can I share a secret with you? They did not start out great! By his own admission, Gretsky knew he was smaller and slower than his opponents on the ice. Michael Jordan did not make his highschool basketball team the first time he tried out. In the end, however, both men became great which has me thinking out loud that as leaders, we don’t have to be great to eventually become great leaders!

During some recent travels, I was scrolling through some in-flight movie options and happened upon a short documentary called In Search of Greatness directed by Gabe Polsky. Gabe and his contributors set out to highlight what makes world-class athletes that way. What they discovered was surprising. They determined that the top-tier professional athletes we admire today were often not the biggest, smartest, fastest, or even the most talented compared to their peers at the start of their careers. Instead, they tapped into something different to make up for what many would consider their athletic deficiencies. Even more encouraging, the resources they tapped into were not physical but rather emotional or attitudinal.

That is incredibly empowering for us wanting to be better leaders because the resources they drew upon were purely internal as opposed to physical, financial, or positional. Here are just a few of those resources that I know resonates with any of us wanting to be a better leader.

No Formulas – these world-class athletes broke molds and many of the sport conventions of their day. As leaders, we need to understand that we have to create our own unique formulas for success. Like superstar athletes, we all need to master the fundamentals of integrity, interpersonal concern, organization, and intent but the best leaders improvise to meet the needs of their contexts versus following a lock-step management development scheme.

Play With Talent – the best athletes played and experimented with their talents versus structured them. They experiment and found ways to win that fit their strengths and abilities versus the use of any imposed strategy. The same goes for leaders. We need to not impose or force our strategies on others, rather adopt to our followers and what they bring to the situation.

Focus – one thing world-class athletes do have in common is their incredible mental and emotional focus. Actor Will Smith once stated in an interview that he would “die on the treadmill”! He went on to say what he meant by that was there are others who have more acting talent or stronger screen presence, but no one will ever out work him! If we want to improve as leaders, we need to have the same focus or leadership ethos. We need to view problems, situations, and opportunities through a leadership lens. We need to not only focus on our own development but that of others. We need to consume leadership learning and experiences (i.e. master the fundamentals) so that we can then use these skills and attitudes to improvise to the situations we encounter.

Mentors – finally, to a person from the William’s sisters to Jerry Rice to soccer great, Pele, all owe their success to the mentors they have had in their lives. People who saw their unconventional talents and allowed it to manifest versus put then in a mold. They customized their coaching to the player as opposed to expecting the opposite. We need the same as leaders. First, we need to mentor others in the same way – not to lead as we do but to lead in a way that that allows them to be and do their best. We also need to be mentored. For many years, leadership expert and author John Maxwell would meet regularly with legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden. John never played for Coach Wooden but he became so inspired by his knowledge and approach to life that he would spend time just talking and learning from him.

Here’s the thing. History and the movies love to portray leaders as big as life individuals. The fact is the best did not start out that way. Lincoln came from very humble beginnings. Theodore Roosevelt was often ill and weak as a child. What that means for those of us wanting to be great leaders is that no one is born a great leader, we become that way and how we do that can be informed from the points above.

Recently, a client asked me how to incorporate all the leadership content they were consuming to actually change the way they lead. Whereas not the only way, here is my simple process:

1. Prioritize – what do you and your team need NOW? Leadership authors and trainers can provide you with a laundry list of skills, attributes, behaviors, etc. that leaders should have. Create a list that makes sense to you but rank order them in terms of importance, impact, etc. and pick no more than two at a time to work on.
2. Practice – Once you have picked on or two competencies to develop. Focus ONLY on those two to intentionally develop and grow for 30 days.
3. Reflect – reflect on what you are learning and how people, processes, and situations have IMPROVED due to your focus on these priorities.
4. Incorporate – once you have mastered or at least consistently include a new leadership approach into your behaviors, attitudes, and habits they will become incorporated into your leadership ethos. You will more naturally draw upon them versus having to consciously think about how you will do so.
5. Repeat – once you have mastered and incorporated these first two competencies, work down your list to the next two and repeat the process.

As you can start to gather, no one gets great at anything by accident. From shots on goal to leading teams, you must draw upon a variety of internal resources but do it your way and in a way that works for you. There is a lot of great leadership content out there but avoid the “theory of the month club” mentality. Incorporate what you like or works best for you and use that to create a stable and effective leadership approach. Trust me, you do not need to discard all that you have learned and gained just because someone introduces a new paradigm. Just take the best and leave the rest.

You do not have to be great to be a great leader, just great at it!

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

Visit our website at: www.outloudinc.com

For more information on the John Maxwell Team, please visit

http://www.johncmaxwellgroup.com/williamfaulkner/

Feel free to “LIKE” our FB Page www.facebook.com/outloudinc

Can Leaders Have Bad Days? Yes and No (but mostly NO!)

Can Leaders Have Bad Days? Yes and No (but mostly NO!)

I get it, we’re all human. We have good days and bad days and going half mad days as Jimmy Buffet sings. As leaders, though, are we allowed bad days? The answer is Yes and No, but mostly NO! Let me explain.

Whether we want to admit it or not, the workplace is an incredibly intimate place. We spend almost as much time with our direct reports, colleagues, and supervisors as we do our own families! Accordingly, our emotional lives are just as vital there than they are at home. In short, we cannot pretend that the workplace is an emotional neutral environment. In fact, I would say feelings matter more in the workplace than at home since at home, our loved ones are more prepared to give us the benefit of the doubt. In the workplace, however as leaders when can leave no doubt as to our intentions and professionalism. Trust me, my dog is much more patient with me than a new professional!

This brings me to the topic at hand. I can think back on many times in my career where I have allowed challenging situations in my personal life to impact my professional life. This usually would manifest itself with being short with a team member, becoming impatient with a colleague, or unfairly judgmental to a supervisor. In EVERY instance, the result was my loss of credibility. Whatever temporary satisfaction I received by acting in such a manner would in no way warrant the longer-term impacts of such conduct.

Now I have heard speakers and writers say that as leaders it is OK to be vulnerable! We are so much more approachable if we allow our teams to see our inner pain and emotional turbulence. With all due respect, I disagree! When things are coming off the rails, I do not want my leader to be “vulnerable”. Instead, I want them to be confident, decisive, and hopeful. I want them to let me know everything is going to work out fine . . . not fall apart.

But I digress. The bottom line is that, for most part, your bad day is not the fault of your team or colleagues. They had nothing to do with whatever got you upset so why take it out on them? Here is why I believe some managers believe they can.

• Team members are safe targets – you do not have to go home to them so you think that gives you license to be short with them. Trust me, when you are unpleasant with a team member, I guarantee they take that home with them and wonder what they did to deserve such negative responses.

• Colleagues are just that. Not people you need to invest in . . . and you wonder why you can never get folks to collaborate with you!

• Supervisors are great targets. I often joke that it is our inalienable right to talk bad about our bosses! This has been our favorite past time since the dawn of time, and I am sure the builders of the pyramids had a long list of complaints! The problem is that such negative attributions are often unfair and result in a downward relationship spiral.

So what do we do about this? Bad and challenging things do happen to us so how do we avoid bringing that in the workplace?

Recognize the emotion in the first place – a negative emotion is usually above the baseline of our normally calm emotional lives. If you are feeling something different, pay attention to it and recognize that you are in a bad mood or frustrated at the moment.

Identify the source of the negative emotion. Was it a disagreement with a partner? A fruitless conversation with your internet provider (is there any other kind!?), or a really bad hair day? Once you can accurately identify the true source of your emotion, you can differentiate between the real source, which usually has nothing to do with the people you work with.

Compartmentalize the outside stress and sperate it from what is happening at work. This is hard to do and takes discipline. There have been many times in my career when I had to go from a very difficult and emotional meeting with a student and then facilitate a workshop in a very upbeat and positive manner. The trick for me was to recognize that this was a rough conversation and identify that it had an impact on me. My option was to either let it continue to impact me or just take a few deep breaths and move on.

Realize that whatever has happened to you outside of work will have impacts at work. Trust me, some bad days are wholly justified. In that case, the best strategy is not come to work that day or if you do, just be upfront with your team and let them know you have just experienced a difficult situation and to bear with you. Going the extra step and letting them know how much just being around them is helping will go a long way in building trust with your team.

Apologize. Finally, if none of the above worked, you will need to make amends. Explain (not justify or rationalize!) what happened and admit this was your deal and had nothing to do with them. Recognize it was not their fault and you had no recourse to take it out on them. This will be a difficult conversation but the price of not having it will be even steeper. You will just need to decide if your awkwardness or embarrassment is more important than your leadership credibility!

Now at this point you may be thinking, “gees Bill, this is hard-core. It sounds like you are expecting me to be super human!” My response is not “super human” but an elevated human who rules and managers their emotions and not the other way around. As pastor and leadership author Andy Stanley shares, leaders have to be the grown ups in the room! We have to model that even in emotionally intense situations, we can manage these emotions and act like mature and stable leaders versus allow our emotions to rule us! Whether we like it or not, that is what our followers expect from us. That is what they deserve from us. This kind of emotional maturity is what they need from us.

As always if I can help you and the people you associate with Get Better, Be Ready and LEAD OUT LOUD, I invite you to contact me.

Yours in leadership,

Bill Faulkner

Independent Coach, Speaker, and Trainer with the John Maxwell Team ^TM

Email = bill@outloudinc.com

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